


Blurring The Lines

by spaztronaut



Category: The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M, Ian's POV
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:17:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaztronaut/pseuds/spaztronaut
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ian's POV of The Host. We all know how much Ian loves Wanda, but he didn't always. How did he go from trying to kill her to being in love with her? What was going on in Ian's mind during everything?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to post this up on AO3. Finally. It's been on FF forever and was fairly popular over there so I decided to post it here for all the nice people on this site.
> 
> I wrote this story a LONG time ago, so it is what it is, but if you find any glaring grammatical mistakes let me know and I'll try to fix them.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read, and even though this story is older I'd still love to hear your thoughts :)

The sun baked the desert air making it hard to breathe. I opened my eyes, only to have to squeeze them shut again. Even with my eyelids closed, I could still feel the sun stinging my eyes. I watched the red and orange dance on the backs of my eyelids. It was too hot out here.

"Ian," Kyle whispered, punching me in the arm. "Look!"

"Ow! What?" I asked, getting to a sitting position. We were on guard duty, positioned on a ridge overlooking the desert. I had been napping, seeing as not much else was going on out here. It was too hot, the parasites weren't stupid enough to be out here in this heat.

The only reason we were out here was because Brandt thought he saw something this morning. What he probably saw was just some animal scavenging for food. The Seekers had no reason to come looking for us now. We hadn't been on a raid in weeks, and even that wouldn't have had them looking in the middle of the Arizona desert. We never raided towns close enough to draw their attention to this area.

"Look," he said, handing me the binoculars.

I lifted them to my eyes and quickly scanned the desert before us. "I don't see anything. Maybe you should take a break, I think you're seeing things," I laughed.

"Oh, really, then what's that?" he said.

I brought the binoculars back up to my eyes and looked in the direction he was pointing. There was nothing out there, just sand.

"Kyle, there's nothing..." I started to say, but then I saw something. It was blurry at first, but as I stared it became clear. It was a person, stumbling through the desert, miles away from our secret desert sanctuary.

The way they were dragging themselves along made it seem like they had been lost out there for days. I felt bad for them, at first, but then Kyle spoke again.

"Do you think it's a Seeker?" he asked, his voice full of fear and suspicion.

Was it a Seeker? Was it looking for us? Did they know where we were? Were there more out there... waiting to see if we would help it? Trying to trick us?

"I don't know. We have to go tell Jeb," I whispered, getting to my feet and heading back towards the cave.

Kyle followed me through the dark tunnels looking for the one person who would know what to do. He always seemed to know what to do.

We found Jeb in the kitchen. It was time for lunch and everyone was there. Kyle ran into the room and everyone, knowing we were on guard duty today, began to panic.

"Jeb, you should take a look at something," Kyle barked.

"What's going on?" he asked. Jeb never lost his cool, ever.

"There's someone out there," I said. Noticing the looks of worry sketched on everyone's faces, I quickly added, "There's only one and they're not very close, but I think you should take a look."

"Is it a Seeker?" Jeb asked.

"Can't be sure, but it looks like they've been out there for awhile. The way it's dragging itself along, looks like it's not doing so well," I answered.

"Is it a woman?" Jared asked. I hadn't noticed him sitting there beside Jeb. He seemed anxious. Of course he was anxious. His girlfriend, Melanie, had recently been taken. She knew about this place. Jeb was her uncle and he had given her the clues to find it. That's how Jared had gotten here, he followed the clues Melanie had shown him.

I knew exactly what he was thinking. What if she got away? What if she wasn't taken like he thought? What if that was her out there? But it wasn't. It couldn't be.

We had all heard the story, we all knew what happened to Melanie. It had been necessary for us to hear it when Jared had shown up with the boy, Jamie, and Jeb's sister, Magnolia, along with her daughter, Sharon. Melanie's body might be coming to look for us here and we needed to know. We had been on alert for a few months after they had shown up. A few of the others were still a little anxious, but most were beginning to feel comfortable again. But now someone was wandering the desert. If it was Melanie, it was only her body, and that meant a trap. The Seekers liked to play on our emotions that way, but we weren't stupid enough to fall for it.

"Can't tell. It's pretty far out," Kyle answered Jared's question.

"Alright, everyone get back to their lunch. Ian, Kyle and Jared, come with me," Jeb said. The group that had gathered around us now began to break up, but the worried murmurs continued.

We followed Jeb outside and then Kyle and I pointed out where we had seen the body. He stood there for some time with the binoculars pressed against his eyes. He didn't say a word and neither did we, but Jared looked like he was about to explode. I didn't think he could take much more of this, but, luckily, Jeb turned back towards us.

"Alright, I'm gonna head out there when it gets dark. There doesn't seem to be anybody else out there, so there's no need to panic. You boys head back inside and get to work. Those crops won't grow themselves, now, will they?" Jeb said.

"Jeb, is it..." Jared started, but his voice cracked in pain causing him to trail off.

"Can't see 'em clearly, like Kyle said," Jeb answered, knowing who Jared was talking about. "Could be anyone."

Jared's face turned stiff, the way it did when he was trying to keep his feelings to himself. He had made that face a lot since coming here. He tried to keep everything inside, but I could see how much pain he was in.

"Did you all hear me or do I need to repeat myself?" Jeb said with an authoritative tone to his voice. He always wanted us to know who was in charge. I've got to admit that, in a world like this, with this many people living together, we needed someone to keep the order. And if anyone had to be in charge, I'm glad it was Jeb. He had never been anything but nice to everyone here, unless they deserved it. He was a fair man, and that was important in a leader, especially in this place.

"We're going, we're going," mumbled Kyle, pushing me back towards the caves. Jared hesitated for a second, but then followed us back inside.

You could feel the tension in the air. Everyone in the caves was worried about who the person in the desert was, or more likely what the parasite out in the desert wanted. Jeb started the trek outside by himself, he said it was better he go alone. He said too many people might scare it, if it was human. If it wasn't... then it was better only one person be killed.

Whoever it was, they were at least a few miles out. It would take Jeb hours to get there and back. Jared tried to watch through the binoculars, but it was too dark. He lost sight of Jeb quickly.

We were all impatient to know what was going on outside. No one in the caves, except for the children, slept that night. I don't think a single person there was able to breathe until Jared spotted Jeb walking back to the caves.


	2. Arguing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting a new chapter of this (hopefully) every week until all 25 chapters are up. Then I'll post some of my other Host stories. These chapters are edited a little more than the original, but if you can't wait the full story is currently up on FF.
> 
> I wrote this story a LONG time ago, so it is what it is, but if you find any glaring grammatical mistakes let me know and I'll try to fix them.
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read, and even though this story is older I'd still love to hear your thoughts :)

It was late, almost dawn, when Jeb finally returned to the caves. Jared, Kyle, and some of the others, along with myself, were waiting at the entrance for him. We all wanted to know if the person outside was a Seeker.

Jeb took his flashlight from his pocket and shined it in his right eye, then his left. Once we were satisfied he was still human, we began questioning him.

"Is it a Seeker?" Kyle asked.

"What does it want?" Trudy questioned.

I looked at Jared as the rest continued to bombard Jeb. The skin on his face was pulled tight over his jaw, which was clenched. He was gritting his teeth, obviously stressed over whatever was outside. I wasn't sure if he wanted it to be his girlfriend or not. If it was her, she would be one of them, and no one wanted to know their loved ones had been replaced by disgusting worms. But at the same time, I thought there might be a little hope in Jared's eyes. If I was him, I would be hoping that somehow it was her, not a replica of her, but really her, herself.

"It's not a Seeker," Jeb said, trying to stifle the onslaught of questions.

"So, it's... _human_ , then?" Jared asked, trying to hide the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Well, I didn't say that," Jeb answered. He cleared his throat, before continuing. "It's definitely one of them, I checked. We need to go back out. You all come with me," he said, motioning toward the group surrounding him.

Jared stepped forward, the hope completely wiped from his face, but Jeb grabbed his arm and pulled him down the hall, away from the group.

"We should get ready to go," I said. It was a long hike and we would need supplies... and weapons, just in case.

"That's a good idea. I'll get some water, it'll be getting hot out there pretty soon," Trudy said, heading to the kitchen.

"Kyle, where are the weapons?" Maggie asked.

"I'll get them," he said. Geoffrey and I followed him.

We came back with some old tools that could be used as weapons if need be. Besides the gun, the only real weapon we had was a machete. Kyle claimed that for himself. I took a crowbar.

We just wanted to look threatening. Jeb had the rifle, he would shoot it. I wondered why he hadn't brought the rifle out with him the first time. That would have saved us all a lot of trouble now. But maybe it was because he didn't want us to lose our only gun if it was trap.

By the time we got back, Jeb was already there, but Jared was nowhere in sight.

"Where'd Jared go?" Kyle asked.

"He had some work to finish up," Jeb told him. I knew then that the parasite outside was Melanie. Jared wanted to go. He was curious to see who it was. The only reason he wouldn't be going with us was if he already knew who was out there and he didn't want to see them.

"It's like three in the morning, what could he..." Kyle began to ask.

"That's none of your business, Kyle," Jeb said, cutting him off.

A few minutes later, we were outside. It took about a two hours to find the parasite. When we first saw it, everyone was silent, we thought it was dead. It was hot out here. Even at night, the heat was intense and without food or water... it would be nearly impossible to stay alive.

It was lying face down in the dirt beside a dead tree. But after a few seconds, it began to move. Reaching out, it grabbed a canteen that was lying next to it. It sat up, gulping the water as quickly as it could. _No wonder it had run out, it doesn't know how to ration_ , I thought.

Dropping the canteen, it sighed and placed it head in it's hands. It was weird how they acted so much like us. If I didn't know any better, I would say that that thing on the ground in front of me was human. I'd say that it was a woman. But I knew better than to trust the facade. It was just a trick. It wasn't human, it wasn't a woman. It was an alien parasite from some other world. The scariest thing imaginable was sitting on the ground, not even ten feet from me, disguised as a girl.

"Why did you give it water, Jeb?" Kyle's angry voice rang out in the quiet desert air.

The parasite turned to face us then, sitting up on its knees. It looked shocked to see us there. Why should it be shocked? It knew there were humans out here. That is why it came all the way out here, after all.

It looked down the line of humans, looking at the weapons we held. It looked scared.

 _Good_ , I thought, _it should be scared_. We were here to kill it, before it got the chance to kill us.

The parasite rested its eyes on Jeb. I looked at him, too. He still hadn't answered Kyle and it didn't look like he had any intention of doing so. He stared right back at the parasite. What was he doing? He had the gun, why didn't he shoot it?

I heard Kyle scoff and take a step towards the alien. He wasn't going to wait for Jeb to handle things. He was going to do it himself. Kyle raised the machete in his right hand.

"Hold it, Kyle," Jeb said. Maybe he wanted to shoot it, instead of letting Kyle cut it up with the machete. It would be better that way, more humane.

"Why? You said you made sure. It's one of them," Kyle grumbled.

"Well, yes, she surely is. But it's a little complicated." What was he saying? It wasn't complicated. We kill it, or it brings Seekers to kill us.

"How?" I asked. I wanted to know why he thought something so simple was complicated. He knew as well as I did what would happen to our family if we didn't do this.

"See, this here is my niece, too." Was he out of his mind? That _thing_ wasn't his niece. Not anymore.

"Not anymore she's not," Kyle vocalized my thought and took another step towards the alien. He lifted the machete above his head. This whole mess would be over in a moment.

 _Click, click_. I turned to see Jeb aiming the gun at Kyle. Trudy gasped.

"I said hold it, Kyle." Jeb's voice was far too relaxed for the situation we were in. He was pointing a gun at my brother, a human, to protect a parasitic alien worm.

"Jeb, what are you doing?" I asked, horrified. How could he possibly be doing this?

Ignoring my question, Jeb never took his eyes off Kyle, who was frozen with the machete still raised above his head.

"Step away from the girl, Kyle," Jeb said.

"It's not a girl, Jeb!" Kyle yelled, spinning around to face him.

Jeb just shrugged and kept the gun pointed at Kyle. "There are things to be discussed."

"The doctor might be able to learn something from it," Maggie stated. I hadn't know her long, but I was surprised to hear her say something like that. If that was a member of my family, I wouldn't give her to Doc.

Doc's work was important, but he had been doing this for years now and he still hadn't figured it out. If I were them and this was my niece's body, I'd show some compassion and just shoot her. I couldn't stand to know that her body had been mutilated in the name of science.

"Aunt Maggie?" the creature said, its voice dry and rough from dehydration.

It was still sitting on the ground. I had almost forgotten about it, I was too distracted by Jeb pulling a gun on my brother.

"You're here? How? Is Sharon-" it started to ask, trying to trick us. Maggie ran towards her niece's body and I thought that this was it. But instead of hitting the parasite with the crowbar in her left hand, Maggie slapped it across the face using her right.

The creature's head snapped back. Maggie had hit it pretty hard. Then, before it had a chance to recover from the first blow, she hit it again.

"You won't fool us, you parasite," Maggie bellowed. "We know how you work. We know how well you can mimic us."

"Now, Maggie," Jeb started.

"Don't you 'Now, Maggie' me, you old fool! She's probably led a whole legion of them down on us," she said, backing away from the parasite.

"I don't see anyone," he replied. "Hey! Over here!" he yelled waving his free hand around in the air, the other hand still held the gun.

I flinched when he started screaming. What was he thinking? A few of the others were startled by it, too, including the parasite.

"Shut up," Maggie whispered, pushing Jeb. I guess she felt uncomfortable raising her voice after his outburst.

"She's alone, Mag. She was almost dead when I found her-she's not in such great shape now. The centipedes don't sacrifice their own that way. They would've come for her much sooner then I did. Whatever else she is, she's alone," Jeb told her.

He walked over to the parasite and extended his right hand towards it. It stared at the hand for a few moments before Jeb spoke.

"C'mon. If I could carry you that far, I woulda brought you home last night. You're gonna have to walk some more," he told it.

"No!" Kyle shouted.

"I'm takin' her back," Jeb said, and it wasn't hard to see that he meant it. Jeb could be very stubborn when he wanted to be.

"Jeb!" Maggie hissed.

"'S my place, Mag. I'll do what I want."

"Old fool!" she said, as Jeb reached down and grabbed its hand.

He dragged it to its feet, where it swayed for a few moments. Behind him, everyone was still making angry noises. No one wanted that thing in our home but Jeb. And he was even going to show it the way.

What if it escaped? It would know where to lead the Seekers. It would know the precise location of my home, our home.

"Okay, whoever you are, let's get out of here before it heats up," Jeb said to it. His voice was kind, too kind to be speaking to the alien who killed his niece.

I stepped closer and placed my hand on his arm. "You can't just show it where we live, Jeb."

I didn't agree with them. I mean, bringing that thing back with us was probably a very bad idea. I could, however, understand them letting Doc have it. But if that was Jeb's plan, he could've told us all that before we left the caves.

"I suppose it doesn't matter. It won't get the chance to tell tales," Maggie said.

Jeb sighed, but pulled the bandanna from his neck. "This is silly."

He wrapped the bandanna around its eyes, and began leading it forward. It looked like it was having trouble walking. Jeb had to guide it along to keep it from tripping. No one spoke, we were paranoid. No one wanted that thing to hear what we had to say. Some of the others walked quickly to get away from the parasite. Kyle took off as soon as he was sure it wouldn't try anything.

After a while, only Jeb, Maggie and I remained with the parasite.

"You aren't planning to tell him, are you?" Maggie asked. She was talking about Jamie. That wouldn't be very fair to the kid, to have to see his sister's body with a parasite inside of it. Better they just shoot it quickly or at least get it to Doc without him knowing. I wouldn't want to be around for the family drama that would play out if he did see her.

"He's got a right to know," Jeb answered. Was he serious? That kid was only fourteen years old. What was he thinking?

"It's an unkind thing you are doing, Jebediah," Maggie said.

"Life is unkind, Magnolia."

Maggie left soon after that. We walked along for a few hours, the parasite was very slow. Its legs buckled and Jeb sat it on the ground, letting it drink from his canteen.

"Let me know when you're ready," Jeb told it. This was ridiculous. Why was he being nice to it? I know that that body used to belong to his niece, but he knows what's controlling it now.

 _This is taking forever_ , I thought. If he was going to stop and let it rest every time it needed a drink, we'd be lucky if we were home by nightfall. It was hot out here, I wanted to go home and be done with this alien.

I sighed as I waited for the parasite to drink Jeb's water. "Why are you doing this, Jeb? For Doc? You could have just told Kyle that. You didn't have to pull a gun on him."

"Kyle needs a gun pulled on him more often," Jeb said. I shook my head. This wasn't a time for jokes. If he was doing this because it was his niece's body... It wasn't her anymore and he knew it. Jeb had seen so many things in his life. He had to know better.

"Please tell me this wasn't about sympathy. After all you've seen..."

"After all I've seen, if I hadn't learned compassion, I wouldn't be worth much," Jeb answered flatly. "But no, it was not about sympathy. If I had enough sympathy for this creature, I would have let her die."

"What, then?"

Jeb didn't answer right away, instead he leaned over and took the parasite's hand. After helping it up, he began ushering it forward again. "Curiosity," he finally said.

We walked for another hour or so, before finally reaching the entrance to the caves. I was slightly ahead of Jeb. I could hear him talking to it, telling it to watch its head. I walked faster now that we were safe in the dark cavern. And Jeb obviously didn't need my help, so I rushed forward to find Kyle.

When I reached the main room, everyone was already there. Kyle was standing with a few of the other guys, including Jared.

Jared looked like he was going to rip someone's head off. I guess Kyle already told him what happened. He was silent, staring at the entrance, waiting.

Everyone else was doing the same, only they weren't so silent. An angry murmur filled the room, making it hard to hear anything else.

But when Jeb led the parasite in, you could've heard a pin drop. Jeb had already taken the blindfold off of it, so it looked around the room.

I saw Jared stepping forward, through the crowd. He made his way up to the front and then stopped. When its eyes found his face, it froze... at first. But then it started moving towards him.

"Jared," it croaked, extending its arms out to him. Was it actually stupid enough to think we'd fall for that? Did it really think Jared would welcome it with open arms?

Before it could reach him, Jared backhanded it so hard its feet actually left the ground. It hit the rocks with a thud. Lying on the ground, it whimpered in pain, as Jeb moved to its side. He extended his hand to help it up, but Jared moved towards him.

If Jared wanted to kill the parasite that had murdered his girlfriend, that was his business. I didn't really think Jeb should be getting in the way, but that was Jeb for you. After another minute, Jared backed off, and Jeb helped the bug to its feet. It almost fell over and Jeb had to hang on to its arm to keep it upright. That's when Doc came out.

"Okay, okay. I'm here. What have we got?" he asked.

"Jeb found it in the desert. Used to be our niece Melanie. Seemed to be following the directions he gave her," Maggie said, glaring at Jeb.

"Mm-hm," was all Doc said. He stood there, staring at it for a minute, before repeating, "Mm-hm."

He reached out to touch its chin, and it took a step back, leaning into Jeb.

"It's okay. I won't hurt you," he tried to comfort it. He reached for it again, but this time, when it tried to back away, Jeb held it in place. Doc turned its head, examining the scar on its neck.

When he was done he took a step back. "She looks healthy enough, aside from some recent exhaustion, dehydration, and malnourishment. I think you've put enough water back into her so that the dehydration won't interfere. Okay, then. Let's get started."

He held his hand out to the parasite, but it clenched its hands into tight fists behind its back. It wasn't going to go willingly.

"Kyle, Ian?" Doc called, looking through the crowded room for us. We stepped forward and I could see the fear in the bug's eyes. "I think I need some help. Maybe if you were to carry —"

"No," Jared said.

"Jared? Is there a problem?" Doc asked, just as surprised as the rest of us were by Jared's statement.

"Yes." Maybe he didn't like the idea of giving it to Doc. I could understand that.

"And it is?"

"I'll tell you the problem, Doc. What's the difference between letting you have it or Jeb putting a bullet in its head?"

"Well," Doc breathed.

"The difference is, if Jeb kills it, at least it dies cleanly." Just like I thought, he didn't want his girlfriend's body subjected to Doc's experiments.

"Jared. We learn so much each time. Maybe this will be the time —"

"Hah! I don't see much progress being made, Doc." I agreed with Jared, but he didn't need to be so mean about it. And it wasn't like Doc was wrong, he did learn a lot from his experiments. And if he could discover how to remove the aliens from the human bodies, maybe one day it could save us all. Or, at the very least, allow us to die with dignity, allow us to die _human_.

"There's no point in wasting an opportunity," Sharon said, stepping in front of Doc. "We all realize that this is hard for you, Jared, but in the end it's not your decision to make. We have to consider what's best for the majority."

"No," Jared growled at her.

"It's not Melanie, Jared. That thing destroyed her. It's evil. They're all evil. And Melanie would want us to do everything we could to fight them," Sharon hissed.

"No," Jared repeated. "He's not going to touch her, do you hear me?"

Kyle stepped forward, towards the argument and I followed him.

"Jared, we're taking it to Doc's. Get out of the way," Kyle growled. I stood beside him, our faces both contorted with anger.

I hated Doc's experiments, but Sharon was right. It was in the best interest of our community. And if Jared wouldn't give it to Doc, would he really be able to take it outside and shoot it. Something had to be done. We couldn't let it go, that was for sure.

"You're not touching it!" Jared yelled. It was starting to look like a fight. Jeb brought his gun up, but it wasn't necessary.

The parasite fainted and the fight was forgotten... for the moment. Jared ran to its side and leaned down close to its face.

"Jamie," it said. "Jamie? Jamie?"

"The kid is fine. Jared brought him here," Jeb answered.

"Thank you," it whispered to Jared, and then it passed out.

Jared remained there for a second before picking up the parasite's limp body. He stood there, looking at Jeb for a moment.

"Alright, everyone get to the game room. Looks like we have some thing's to discuss," Jeb said, pointing his gun at the crowd.

Loud, angry comments could be heard throughout the room, but everyone turned and made their way to the game room like Jeb asked.

Kyle hesitated, but when Jared started walking, so did he. Everyone was so engrossed in their own thoughts and complaints that no one noticed when Jared disappeared. It wasn't until we got to the game room that Kyle spoke up.

"Where's the parasite?" he boomed.

"Now, let's just calm down for a minute," Jeb said, his voice calm and the gun still in his hand. "We do have some things to discuss."


	3. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Remember, it's over on FF too, but this version is being edited as I upload, so if you prefer to read without grammatical errors this is the version for you! Lol.
> 
> If you spot any errors or mistakes I missed please let me know. I'm trying to edit the chapters, but I'm doing it myself and sometimes my brain is just the worst!

Enraged. That's the only way to describe the way everyone was feeling, including me. Jeb had forced us to the game room to discuss what was to be done with the parasite. Only, he wasn't discussing so much as telling us not to touch it. He said that Jared had taken it someplace safe and was guarding it. He said we weren't supposed to look for it.

All the years I've known Jeb, I never truly thought he was crazy. He was always a little eccentric, but I liked that about him, it made him interesting to talk to. Not until this precise moment did I think that he was actually insane.

He wanted to keep that... that _thing_ , here, with us. He wanted to let it stay in our home? What right did he have to make that decision for us? Sure, it was his place, as he put it, but really it was everyone's place. We all lived here. Jeb was the leader, yes, but we all contributed to the greater good of the community. And we all deserved a say, especially when it came down to our safety.

That thing would kill us all if it got the chance. Why was Jeb protecting it? It's not his niece. It's not! If he wasn't going to take care of it then we would.

When our _discussion_ was over, I followed Kyle back to our room. I was shocked that Kyle had managed to keep his temper in check. He usually flew off the bat about anything. But tonight, he managed to keep himself moderately in control. I was almost impressed.

Walking down the dark corridor to my room, I started to regain some control of my anger. I knew why Jeb and Jared were trying to protect it. They shouldn't be, that thing was dangerous and they knew it. But they loved the body that it was wearing. They loved the girl who used to be there. But she wasn't there anymore, and they were just having trouble dealing with that.

I understood where they were coming from. It's hard to grieve properly when the bodies of the people you lost were still out there somewhere, alive and well, walking around. It's hard to think of someone as gone when you can still see them.

It's still hard for me, knowing my parents bodies are out there, in our old house, living like nothing ever happened. But it's not them. It's just some look alike. A replica of the real thing. The body is just a reminder of the personality that used to be inside.

Once inside of our room, Kyle sat back on his mattress. I narrowed my eyes questioningly at him, but he just smirked and stayed silent. After a minute or so, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Kyle said.

Aaron and Brandt walked in. They stared conspiratorially at Kyle and I felt like I was missing something.

"Jeb's in the kitchen, getting a snack. He'll be going to bed soon," Aaron said.

"Good," replied Kyle, "We'll meet in the game room."

They both nodded and left. I wondered, idly, when Kyle had had the time to make any sort of arrangement with them.

"We're having another meeting," Kyle explained. He must have noticed the confused look on my face. "Were gonna take a vote. Jared can't do this, so it's up to the rest of us to do it for him."

I stared at Kyle. He was being very... well, almost _compassionate_. I could only imagine he was thinking about Jodi. Kyle had lost Jodi when the parasites took over and if it had been her body that showed up here, Kyle knows he wouldn't be able to harm her.

I could relate, I guess. I wasn't in love with anyone before the aliens came, but I don't think I could hurt anyone I knew, even if they weren't really themselves anymore. If my parents, or Kyle, showed up, a hollow shell of who they once were, I wouldn't let anyone hurt them either.

Kyle was right. Jared was never going to be able to do what had to be done. We had to do it. We didn't love that body the way Jared and Jeb did. We could be unbiased.

An hour later, everyone was in the game room for the second time today. Jeb had, after staying awake all night, finally passed out in his room. Jared wasn't going to be coming out anytime soon. He was guarding the worm. So we were free to hold our own discussion.

It was mid day and the kid, Jamie, would be at school, so he wouldn't find out. He shouldn't find out what his sister was. Better to think she was already dead. He had grieved for her once, he didn't need to have to start all over again.

"Okay, everyone knows why we're here," Kyle said, "So let's get this over with. Everyone who thinks that parasite should be destroyed, raise your hand."

There was no need to count hands. It was unanimous. Everyone in the room had voted 'yes'. They wanted it gone, out of our home.

"Alright, well, Ian and I will handle it then," Kyle announced. I rolled my eyes. He never bothered to ask me what I wanted to do. He always just decided what he wanted and then brought me along for the ride.

"I'll come with you," Brandt said, walking over to us. The others were beginning to filter out of the room. I supposed they were going back to work.

"Fine. Where do you think Jared took it?" Kyle asked. "He's not in his room..."

"Let's start looking. I want to get this over with," I complained. I was stressed. I didn't like the idea of killing something, even if it wasn't human. It was like killing an animal. I didn't want to, but I'd do it for my family. They were counting on me.

Jared couldn't keep that thing here. It'd get away. We couldn't be merciful. Mercy would get us all killed.

We looked everywhere for Jared. Finally, as we walked down the tunnel towards the storage area, we saw a faint blue light. Jared. There was no other reason for anyone to be down here.

"Ah. Here you are," Kyle said, when Jared came into view. He was crouched next to a small hole in the stone wall. One that we usually kept supplies in. I could guess what was in there right now.

Kyle couldn't handle this situation. He wouldn't be able to reason with Jared. Kyle could never reason with anyone. I had to be the one to do this.

"We're not going to allow this, Jared. We've all lost somebody—hell, we've all lost everybody. But this is ridiculous," I told him. He was standing now, positioned in front of the stone cell he was keeping it in. I wondered if he was keeping it in there to keep it from escaping or to keep it from us.

"If you won't let Doc have it, then it's got to die," Kyle bellowed. He couldn't even pretend to be reasonable for five minutes. Again, I had to do this.

"You can't keep it prisoner here. Eventually, it will escape and we'll all be exposed," I reasoned.

Jared remained silent, but stepped in front of the small hole in the wall. Blocking it from us.

"Don't make this difficult, Jared. It has to be done," Brandt added.

"We don't want to hurt you, Jared. We're all brothers here. But we will if we have to. Move aside," Kyle threatened. We wouldn't really hurt Jared, but we would do what we had to to restrain him.

"Jared... please," I almost pleaded.

Jared didn't respond, but Kyle took that as answer enough. He moved forward, towards Jared, who proceeded to punch Kyle in the stomach.

"No!" A girl's voice rang out in the close quarters of the cave.

The parasite jumped out of the small hole it was being kept in. It glanced quickly at all of us standing there, frozen in shock, and then moved in between Jared and Kyle.

Kyle pushed it, almost knocking it down, but Jared reached out and grabbed its wrist before it could fall. He pulled it to its feet, but quickly dropped its hand.

"Get back in there," Jared yelled, pushing it back towards the hole. It stumbled backwards for a second, but moved to place itself between Jared and Kyle again.

"I'm what you want. Leave him alone," it told Kyle.

What? Why did it do that? It looked concerned for Jared. Obviously it was trying to play on his feelings. Jared was protecting it from us, so naturally, it though it had the best chance at manipulating him. It was pretending to care for him.

"Tricky bugger," I said.

"I said get back in there," Jared growled.

It turned halfway towards Jared, but it kept Kyle in its peripheral vision. "It's not your job to protect me at your own expense."

Jared raised his hand, he was going to push it back into the hole. The bug was quicker than he was. It moved out of the way, it moved towards me.

I grabbed it, pinning its arms behind its back. It struggled, but I was stronger. I must have been too rough, because it gasped when I held its arms tighter.

"Get your hands off her!" Jared screamed. He was coming at me, but Kyle grabbed him. Brandt rushed forward, trying to help him restrain Jared.

"Don't hurt him!" the parasite screamed. Manipulating us.

Jared elbowed Kyle in the stomach. He was getting out of Kyle's grip. Before I knew what was happening, Kyle's blood was splattered on the wall. Jared had punched him, broken his nose... again. The bug was still straining against my hold.

"Ian, finish it," Kyle yelled. What? Me? He wanted me to do it. I thought he would be the one...

"No!" both Jared and the parasite screamed. Was she screaming because she was scared for herself, or Jared? It seemed like she was sincerely afraid Jared would be hurt, but that was impossible. It was lying, trying to manipulate us. It knew what was coming and was trying to find a way out of it. It didn't matter now, anyway. I quickly made up my mind. I would finish it like Kyle said.

I let go of its arms and wrapped my fingers around its neck. I squeezed. I could feel it struggling harder. I was strangling it. Killing it. It clawed at my hands. If its nails had been longer, I was sure it would have drawn blood.

The anger I felt for the thing in my hands was frightening. I wanted it dead. It _should die_ , but I felt bad. I felt terrible about _how much_ I wanted to kill it. Once I had my hands around its neck, it was like I couldn't stop.

It had killed everyone I loved. It took away my life, my world, my future. It took everything from me and I wanted revenge. But this girl didn't deserve that. This _body_ didn't deserve to be hated so much. But the girl wasn't in there anymore. No, the alien was in there. It wasn't the same parasite that had killed my parents, but I guess it would do. It had killed the girl, anyway. It murdered Melanie and stole her body.

My grip on its throat tightened as I lifted its flailing body into the air. It was kicking and scratching at my fingers. I didn't feel anything. I felt numb. Like this wasn't real. It couldn't be. This wasn't me. I would never do something like this.

The girl in my hands wasn't real. Wasn't a girl. It was an insect, a centipede. They were disgusting, I had seen them before. I knew what they were. This one wasn't going to trick me. It wasn't really murder. The parasite had already murdered the girl. She was dead. This, what I was doing, was like squashing a bug. Swatting a fly. A very dangerous fly that would have us all killed if it got away.

 _Click, click_. The gun... again. Jeb was here, but I didn't care. I kept my grip firm on the bug's neck.

"Kyle, Ian, Brandt—back off!" Jeb was angry. More than angry. He never yelled, not really. He was usually so calm all of the time.

A quick glance towards Kyle showed the others frozen in place. No one was moving except for the parasite, who was still flailing in my hands. It was suffocating. I couldn't see its face, but I could imagine what it looked like. Blue from lack of oxygen? Probably more of a purple, actually. It was struggling as hard as it could against me. I think it was in pain.

I didn't see Jared move away from Kyle. I didn't see him lunge at me. But I felt it when his fist made contact with my jaw. I wailed and dropped the parasite to the floor. It lay there gasping at my feet, while I covered my jaw and swore quietly to myself.

"You're guests here, boys, and don't you forget it. I told you not to go looking for the girl. She's my guest, too, for the moment, and I don't take kindly to any of my guest's killing any of the others," Jeb said. His voice was still angry, but he was calmer than before.

"Jeb," I moaned, trying to reason with him, although what I really wanted to do was knock Jared the hell out for hitting me. "Jeb. This is insane."

"What's your plan?" I heard Kyle ask from behind me. I didn't bother turning around. I kept my eyes on Jeb, waiting for his answer. "We have a right to know. We have to decide whether this place is safe or if it's time to move on. So... how long will you keep this thing as your pet? What will you do with it when you're finished playing God? All of us deserve to know the answers to these questions." I was almost shocked at how articulate Kyle was. He had clearly thought this through. He didn't usually do that. He usually just came out swinging and hoped for the best.

"Don't have your answers, Kyle. It's not up to me," Jeb stated.

What was he talking about? Of course it was up to him. He was the one holding the gun on us, refusing to let us kill it. It was still lying on the floor next to me, I could hear it gasping for breath, but I never took my eyes off Jeb. What was he saying? Who's decision was it, if not Jeb's?

"Not up to you? Who, then? If your thinking of putting it to a vote, that's already been done. Ian, Brandt, and I are the duly designated appointees of the result," Kyle said.

Jeb shook his head, keeping his eyes on Kyle. "It's not up for a vote. This is still _my house_."

" _Who, then_?" Kyle screamed.

"It's Jared's decision."

I shifted my gaze to Jared, then. He was staring, wide-eyed, mouth agape, at Jeb. He looked the way I felt.

"Jared? That makes no sense! He's more biased than anyone else! Why? How can he be rational about this?" Kyle was losing it now, he was practically incoherent.

"Jeb, I don't..." Jared started, but Jeb cut him off.

"She's your responsibility, Jared. I'll help you out, of course, if there's anymore trouble like this, and with keeping track of her and all that. But when it comes to making decisions, that's all yours." Jeb said. Then, looking at Kyle, added, "Look at it this way, Kyle. If somebody found your Jodi on a raid and brought her back here, would you want me or Doc or a vote deciding what we did with her?"

"Jodi is dead," Kyle spit. That was low, everyone knew Jodi was Kyle's weak spot. In had been six years and I still caught him staring out into space every once in a while, a tear in his eye. We never talked about it, but I knew how much he was still hurting. Jeb shouldn't have brought her up, even though I know he was just trying to get his point across.

I looked at Kyle, his face covered in his own blood. He was scowling at the parasite on the ground, next to my feet. She wasn't gasping for breath anymore, now it was more of a wheezing.

"Well, if her body wandered in here, it would still be up to you. Would you want it any other way?"

"The majority—" Kyle tried.

"My house, my rules," Jeb barked. "No more discussion on this. No more votes. No more execution attempts. You three spread the word—this is how it works from now on. New rule."

" _Another one_ ," I mumbled through the hand I still held to my throbbing jaw.

"If, unlikely as it may be, something like this ever happens again, whoever the body belongs to makes the call." Jeb said. He pointed the rifle he was holding towards Kyle and then motioned with it for us to leave. "Get out of here. I don't want to see you anywhere around this place again. You let everyone know that this corridor is off-limits. No one's got any reason for being here besides Jared, and if I catch someone skulking around, I'm asking questions second. You got that? Move. Now."

Kyle, Brandt, and I took our cue and left. We weren't happy about it, but it was best to do what Jeb said. Especially when he was serious about something. And to my dismay, he was very serious about this.

When we made it back to the main room, some of the others were there waiting. Andy, Paige, Geoffrey, Trudy, Heath, Maggie, Sharon, and even Doc, were there waiting for us to tell them some good news.

"I saw Jeb head down there, did you do it? Is it gone?" Andy asked. Paige was pressed close against his side. She had been a wreck ever since that thing got here, but Paige was usually a wreck when she was nervous about something.

"No," Kyle grunted. Out here in the light, I could see the blood streaking his face. Jared had gotten him pretty good, his nose was broken. But Kyle was always getting hit in the face, i don't even think he could feel the pain anymore. He was too used to it.

"What do you mean _no_?" Maggie questioned. There was hatred in her eyes, but I knew that was for Jeb. She hated her brother for keeping that thing here and putting us all in danger.

"Jeb made a new rule," I said. Grunts and groans went up through the crowd. Everyone hated it when Jeb came up with new rules on the spot like this. He was always creating them whenever he felt like it. Usually I didn't mind, but this time was different. "Jared gets to make the decision. The body belongs to him, so he chooses what we do with it."

"They're going to get us all killed because of that thing!" Sharon shrieked, throwing her hands up in the air. She looked so angry, although she usually was angry. I didn't know how Doc put up with her. He looked so nice and compassionate standing next to her while she threw a tantrum right in the center of the big cavern.

"Well, no one's supposed to go down that tunnel. Jeb said it's off-limits," I added. Kyle rolled his eyes at me and stalked away. _I_ wasn't happy about Jeb's decision either, why was he being like that?

The other's continued to question us, but I wasn't really up for it. I walked away leaving Brandt to fend for himself while they interrogated him.

I made my way through the dark halls until I came upon the red and gray doors. I removed the red door and walked into my room, quickly replacing the door behind me. I hadn't slept in more than twenty-four hours and I was exhausted. I flopped down on my mattress and put my arms behind my head like a pillow.

I didn't know where Kyle went, and I really didn't care. He would be a nightmare to deal with, now that his plan had failed. The parasite was still alive. It was being guarded by Jeb and Jared.

I breathed a sigh of relief and realized I was glad the parasite wasn't dead. Well, maybe not that it wasn't _dead_ , but that _I_ hadn't killed it. It would escape and turn us all in if something wasn't done about it, it probably should be killed. I had voted for it to be killed just a couple of hours ago. But now that I had actually tried, now that I had almost succeeded, I didn't want to try again. I didn't like the disconnected, numb feeling I had felt. It felt like it wasn't me, but it _was_ me. I thought about how it felt to have my fingers locked in a death grip around its throat. I thought about what it felt like to have her fingers clawing at mine.

I moved my right hand from behind my head and held it out in front of me. I flexed my fingers and looked at the scratches on the back of my hand. It was almost like proof of the crime I committed.

 _I didn't do anything wrong_ , I corrected. I couldn't let myself feel guilty about this. It wasn't human. It would kill me and everyone I knew if I let it. It should die. But, if that was the case, why did the scratches all over the back of my hands make me feel nauseous? Why should I feel guilty if it was the right thing to do?

I stared out through the cracks in the ceiling for a minute, but then my eyelids started to droop and I knew I would be unconscious soon enough. I couldn't think about that _thing_ right now. It made me feel angry and anxious and guilty all at once. I was too tired for that, so I closed my eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.


	4. Interrogation

Over the next few nights, Kyle continued to visit the storage area. I told him it was useless, told him it wouldn't work, told him that was the reason I didn't want to go with him. And it _was_ the reason... part of it, anyway.

Jared and Jeb wouldn't let him anywhere near that thing. But I still felt strangely guilty and I didn't like it. It had gotten slightly worse after that first night. I thought about it, a lot. I thought about why I wanted it dead. I wanted revenge. Sure, I wanted to protect my family here, keep them safe from the Seekers. But I also wanted to get even with that thing. I knew it wasn't the same parasite that had killed my family, but I didn't care, any parasite would do.

I hated that feeling. I didn't want to feel that way. How had I let myself become so angry? I couldn't remember ever feeling this angry, especially not since finding the caves. What was wrong with me? Was I so vengeful that I would kill an innocent creature because of what another of its kind did?

It wasn't exactly innocent, it had killed Melanie, but it wasn't guilty of what I blamed it for. I couldn't kill it. I was taking my anger out on something that didn't deserve it. I wouldn't be killing it because it was a danger to us. I would be killing it because I wanted to murder it. It was wrong to feel that way. I couldn't differentiate between revenge and righteousness, so I wouldn't do anything.

That thought didn't make me feel any better, though. Not when Jamie glared at me. Every time I saw him, he would be glowering in my direction. He'd found out about the parasite, he knew what I'd done to it, and he was mad. I could barely bring myself to look at the kid. I usually just stared at the ground until he was out of sight.

I needed a distraction, and I got one, only it wasn't really a distraction. There were a group of Seekers out in the desert, a search party. They didn't come anywhere near us, but it still caused a panic in the caves. No one liked having that many Seekers in the desert, it was just too close.

We watched them, taking shifts and never letting them out of our sight. After a few days, they weren't expecting to find the parasite alive anymore. Then, when a coyote attacked one of the Seekers, they decided they wouldn't even find the body. They were right, if a body had been out there, the scavengers would have picked it to pieces.

Kyle and I were watching them. There was one, a woman, she was short, with dark hair. She wore all black, which I thought was strange seeing as she was in the desert, and carried a Glock. She wasn't pleased when the other Seekers called off the search. She was almost fighting with them.

It was odd, the bugs never fought. They never got angry, but this one was different. It seemed angry all the time. It even seemed to tick the others off a little. It didn't want to give up, it kept trying to convince them, but they left anyway.

The unhappy Seeker, however, stayed. It drove back and forth, up and down the highway. It stopped at a little convenience store along the road, questioning the parasite that worked there. Then it went for a hike up the mountain. It was like this parasite's, the one in Melanie's body, disappearance was personal to it. Like it wanted to find her more than the others did.

We discussed all of this with Jeb and the others, Jeb didn't seem bothered by the unhappy Seeker's obsession. He thought that as long as the majority of Seekers were gone, then the one Seeker would quickly give up.

Jared wasn't there, of course, he was still guarding the worm. I wasn't sure if Jeb had told him about all this or not, but I wanted to ask him what he thought. He was good at this sort of thing. He made good decisions and I wanted to hear his take on it. So that night I headed down to the storage room.

Jared appeared to be sleeping on the ground in front of the hole in the wall, where he was keeping the parasite. He jumped up onto his knees, the gun ready in his hands, when he heard me coming down the hall.

"Easy. I come in peace," I said.

"Whatever your selling, I'm not buying," Jared told me.

"I just want to talk. You're buried down here, missing all the important discussions... We miss your take on things," I explained, coming closer.

"I'm sure."

"Oh, put the gun down. If I was planning to fight you I would have come with four guys this time."

When Jared spoke again, he seemed a little more at ease. "How's your brother these days?" he joked, sitting against the wall in front of the hole, gun still in hand.

"He's still fuming about his nose," I said. "Oh, well—it's not the first time it's been broken. I'll tell him you said you were sorry."

"I'm not."

"I know. No one is ever sorry for hitting Kyle," I laughed and so did he.

"So what do you want, Ian? Not just an apology for Kyle, I imagine."

"Did Jeb tell you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"They've given up the search. Even the Seekers."

Jared didn't say anything, so I continued to explain everything we knew about what was going on outside. I told him about the coyote attack and the unhappy Seeker and about how she was still searching around the highway.

When I told him about how it had gone up the peak, the parasite in the small hole hissed loudly. I looked, shocked, into the hole. It was just a dark shape against the back wall, but I could see its arms covering its face protectively.

"What was that?" I asked Jared. The parasite was visibly shaking.

Jared reached over to grab the lamp that was sitting on the floor a few feet away. He brought it back up so that we could see what was going on with the alien.

That's when I saw her. Her eyes, she looked so scared. Was she scared because the Seekers had stopped looking? Because they wouldn't rescue her?

"Look at its eyes. It's frightened," I murmured, staring at the girl who was now peeking at us through her fingers.

"Who is the Seeker in black?" Jared demanded.

She was still shaking. I didn't think she'd be able to talk even if she wanted to.

"I know you can talk. You talk to Jeb and Jamie. And now you're going to talk to me," he said, crawling into the tight space. He had some trouble getting in there and he was obviously uncomfortable when he did. "Tell me what you know."

The parasite looked like it wanted to run, but it had nowhere to go. There was no way it'd even be able to move with Jared stuffed in the hole with it.

"Who is the Seeker in black? Why is it still searching?" Jared yelled, his voice echoing in the small space.

It brought its hands back up to cover its face. It was waiting to be hit again. She thought Jared was going to hit her, and he probably was going to. His fingers were twitching.

"Ah—Jared?" I said. "Maybe you should let me..."

"Stay out of it!" he screamed.

He was scaring it. It was already afraid of him and if he kept this up he'd never get it to talk. I climbed into the whole behind him. "Can't you see it's too scared to talk? Leave it alone for a sec—"

Jared, turning around faster then I would have thought possible in the cramped space, punched me in the face. I cursed as I fell out of the hole and onto the ground.

I spit on the floor. "That's twice," I grunted.

"I'm ready to go for three," he said. He was lucky I didn't beat the crap out of him right there.

He turned back to the bug then, lamp in hand. "Who. Is. The. Seeker."

It dropped its hands and stared him in the eye. His voice was quieter when he spoke. "I don't have to hurt you. But I do have to know the answer to my question. Tell me." He sounded frustrated.

"The Seeker," it croaked.

"We already know it's a Seeker," Jared said impatiently.

"No, not just any Seeker. My Seeker," it whispered.

"What do you mean, your Seeker?"

"Assigned to me, following me. She's the reason —" it cut off abruptly.

"The reason?"

"The reason I ran away. The reason I came here."

I stared at it, eyes wide. She had run away from a Seeker to come here. To the middle of the desert? To come find us, humans, because it wanted to get away from the Seeker? That didn't make any sense.

"You ran away from a Seeker? But you're one of them! Why would it follow you? What did it want?"

It swallowed loudly. "You," it whispered, "You and Jamie."

"And you were trying to lead it here?" he asked, his voice hard, angry.

"I didn't... I..." It was shaking its head, searching for the right words.

"What?"

"I... didn't want to tell her. I don't like her."

She didn't like the Seeker? Well, if it was the Seeker we saw outside, none of the others seemed to like her either.

"Don't you all have to like everyone?" Jared asked after a second.

"We're supposed to," it said in a low voice. It sounded a little ashamed.

If it didn't tell the Seeker about this place then it must have told someone. The parasites were always hunting us. They wanted our bodies. They needed them to house more aliens.

"Who did you tell about this place?" I asked.

"I couldn't tell—I didn't know... I just saw the lines. The lines on the album. I drew them for the Seeker... but we didn't know what they were. She still thinks their a road map."

"What do you mean you didn't know? You're here," Jared said, flexing his hand towards her.

Its lie didn't make any sense. Obviously, it had figured out what the clues meant. It could have easily told the Seeker, or anyone else for that matter, once it figured it out. Even if it hadn't discovered all of the clues, it still figured out our general vicinity. Just that was enough to get the Seekers to scour the desert in search of us.

"I... I was having trouble with my... with the... with her memory. I didn't understand... I couldn't access everything. There were walls. That's why the Seeker was assigned to me, waiting for me to unlock the rest."

I glanced at Jared, who looked back at me. I couldn't believe what it just said. There were walls? She was trying to unlock it?

I wanted to believe, I wanted to believe so badly. It was saying the human inside could block some of the information, even if it was just for a short while. And since she was here now, it meant that she had finally broken through those walls. But just knowing that maybe we could have some speck of control left when we were taken, was more than we had ever dreamed possible.

"Were you able to access my cabin?" Jared demanded.

"Not for a long time," it said. I didn't know what they were talking about, Jared had never mentioned a cabin.

"And then you told the Seeker," he stated.

"No."

"No? Why not?"

"Because... by the time I could remember it... I didn't want to tell her."

Why wouldn't it tell a Seeker about a possible location of humans? That's what they did. If one of the normal parasites saw a human, they called the Seekers. What could possibly make this one forego their rules, or whatever? They didn't have laws the way he did, but they all acted the same, followed some set of unwritten laws.

When Jared spoke his voice was soft and low. "Why didn't you want to tell her?"

It stayed silent. Its jaw clenched in determination. She wasn't going to answer this question. It was obvious.

Jared seemed to understand. He changed the subject. "Why weren't you able to access everything? Is that... normal?"

"She fell a long way. The body was damaged," it said.

I could practically see the neon sign above her head that said 'I'm lying'. This girl was definitely not a Seeker. They were much better liars than this. I raised an eyebrow, skeptically, at her and she seemed to know that we weren't buying it.

I decided to let it go, there were other answers we needed to know. "Why isn't this Seeker giving up like the rest?"

She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "I don't know. She's not like other souls. She's... annoying."

Something about the way she said it made me laugh, just once. The way she complained about it, it made her seem almost... almost _human_.

"And you—are you like other... souls?" Jared asked.

Her eyes flashed open and she stared at him for a few seconds. Then she buried her head in her knees. She was done talking.

Jared began inching his way backwards, out of the hole. When he was fully out, he stretched his arm and legs. I'm sure he hadn't been very comfortable in there.

"That was unexpected," I whispered, trying to keep my voice low. I couldn't believe it had told us all of that. I was pretty sure it was telling the truth. The one time it had lied was such a train wreck, it made everything else it had said completely believable.

"Lies, of course," Jared whispered. "Only... I can't quite figure out what it wants us to believe—where it's trying to lead us."

"I don't think it's lying. Well, except the one time. Did you notice?"

"Part of the act."

"Jared, when have you ever met a parasite that could lie about anything? Except a Seeker, of course."

"Which it must be."

"Are you serious?" I couldn't believe he could still think that. After hearing her speak, it was painfully clear that this wasn't a Seeker.

"It's the best explanation."

"She— _it_ is the furthest thing from a Seeker I've ever seen. If a Seeker had any idea how to find us, it would have brought an army."

"And they wouldn't have found anything. But she— _it_ got in, didn't it?"

Did he really think that it was that manipulative? It wasn't, anyone could tell that it wasn't. Why would she have come, knowing we would kill her on the spot? "It's almost been killed half a dozen —"

"Yet it's still breathing, isn't it?" he hissed.

He wasn't going to see reason here. It wasn't a Seeker, but he wanted to hate it, the way I had wanted to hate it the other night. I thought back to when I had tried to kill it. The way it had kicked and squirmed away from me, still fresh in my mind.

When Jared was interrogating it, when the light was on its face, I saw the bruises on her neck. They were a sickly black and blue color by now. Big, dark bruises that ran the whole way around her neck. Those bruises, the outline of my hands, were the most horrific thing I've ever seen, including the alien invasion.

Now that I had heard her out, heard her speak and explain, I felt even worse. The sudden surge of guilt was almost too much for me to handle. She was right there, sitting only a few feet away from me, scared to death that we would injure her again. I needed to get out of there.

"I think I'm going to go talk to Jeb," I whispered. He would know what we should do. He already seemed to. He was the one who'd refused to let us kill it. He would want to hear this.

"Oh, that's a great idea," Jared said sarcastically.

"Do you remember that first night? When it jumped between you and Kyle? That was bizarre," I said, suddenly remembering how strange it was. At the time I thought it was trying to manipulate Jared, but now... I wasn't sure about anything anymore.

"It was just trying to find a way to stay alive, to escape..."

"By giving Kyle the go-ahead to kill her— _it_? Good plan," I said incredulously.

"It worked."

This was getting ridiculous. He wasn't seeing what was right in front of his eyes. "Jeb's gun worked. Did she know he was on his way?"

"You're over-thinking this, Ian. That's what it wants."

"I don't think your right," I told him. I thought about her, sitting there in that hole. She'd been here a week, if she was going to try to escape, wouldn't she have done it already? She wasn't complaining, she barely spoke at all. Jeb had told us that he practically had to drag her to the latrine. "I don't know why... but I don't think she wants us to think about her at all."

I got up, I wasn't going to argue with him about it anymore. "You know what's really twisted?" I said.

"What's that?" he asked.

"I felt guilty—guilty as hell—watching her flinch away from us. Seeing the black marks on her neck." I wanted to say that out loud. I wanted her to hear me. It was the only way I knew to apologize.

"You can't let it get to you like that. It's not human. Don't forget that." He wasn't happy with my admission.

I started down the hall. "Just because she isn't human, do you think that means she doesn't feel pain? That she doesn't feel just like a girl who's been beaten—beaten by _us_?"

"Get a hold of yourself," he called after me.

"See you around, Jared." I continued down the hall, thinking about what I'd learned.

She wasn't lying, I really didn't believe that she was lying. The one time she had lied was too obvious. And she couldn't be some sort of espionage-trained Seeker. She didn't have what it would take to come up with and follow through on such an intricate plan.

My gut told me I was right. She was just a helpless girl, who we had beaten the crap out of. Jared was right, she wasn't human. But did that give us the right to treat her like that?

I quickly found Jeb. He was in the kitchen, looking for a snack. Trudy, Heidi, and Lily were all there making bread for tomorrow. They looked up at me when I walked in.

"Hi, Ian," Lily smiled. The others just nodded.

I nodded back in their direction, but kept my eyes on Jeb. He had also seen me come in and looked a little frustrated. He probably thought I was there to complain about the parasite some more.

"Jeb, I need to talk to you," I said.

"What about?" he asked.

"I went to talk to Jared —"

"I told you not to go down there anymore," he cut me off. "Can't you listen to simple instructions?"

"I just wanted to tell him about the Seekers. I wanted to know what he thought about the whole matter," I said, and then I glanced quickly at Lily and the other women. I wasn't sure I should tell him all of this here, in front of them.

"C'mon," Jeb said, motioning with his head for me to follow him.

We walked all the way to the game room. It was late, no one would be down here right now.

Jeb stopped and spun on his heel to face me. He had one of his eyebrows raised. He was waiting to hear what I had to say.

"Jared and I were discussing the Seeker and the girl, well, she sort of freaked out," I tried to explain.

"What do you mean, _freaked out_?" Jeb asked, his voice was tight. Was he worried about it?

"It's alright. We didn't do anything to it," I told him. "It was... afraid, I think... of the Seeker. She doesn't seem to like the one that's still out there."

"Oh, and how would know that?"

"She, well... she, sort of, told us."

Jeb raised both of his eyebrows this time. "Did she, now?"

"She seemed afraid of it. Jared and I were questioning her and she answered all of our questions. Jared thinks she was lying, but..." Did I really believe it? If I was going to tell Jeb, then that meant I believed it.

"But?" he pressed.

"But I don't think it was lying," I told him, my voice confident. I knew it was telling the truth, I don't know why, but I could feel it. "It said all kinds of things. Things that... well, things that, if they're true, would be incredible."

"Go on," he nodded.


	5. Change of Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to start updating this semi regularly. If I don't, feel free to send me a message saying UPDATE as a reminder. Seriously I won't mind. I want to get this story fully posted but I procrastinate so much because I HATE editing.

I told Jeb everything that the parasite had said when Jared and I were questioning it. He was very interested, but then again Jeb was always interested in things. He was a naturally curious man.

When I was finished, I walked slowly back to my room. I knew that I was being crazy, but I believed the parasite. I wasn't exactly sure about what that meant though. What would we do with it now? Before there had only been one choice, it had to die. But now, what could we do? I didn't really want it dead anymore, but what other option was there?

I reached my room and quickly made my way in. Kyle was sitting on his bed, playing solitaire with a deck of cards we had stolen on a raid a few years back. They were worn, but then again, so was everything else in this place.

"Where were you?" he asked, flipping over a Jack of Clubs. He squinted at his cards thoughtfully for a moment before making his move.

I sat down on my mattress and sighed. I really didn't want to tell him the truth. He would be furious with me. But I could tell him I talked to Jared without mentioning the conversation with the parasite, right?

"I wanted to talk to Jared," I said, bracing myself for his reaction. Kyle always over-reacted.

"You _what_?" he asked, looking up at me for the first time. His reaction wasn't as bad as I would have thought, but he could be pushed over the edge easily enough.

"I wanted to ask him what he thought about the Seekers outside, that's all," I huffed.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could've—"

"Could've what, Kyle? Went down there and murdered the parasite together?"

He looked confused by my outburst, but confusion soon took a back seat to concern. "What's gotten into you lately? You're in your head too much, Ian. I know you've been feeling guilty but... You have to stop. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

Why was he only observant when I didn't want him to know what I was feeling? "I don't know what you're talking about," I said, laying back on my pillow.

"Ian, you know what we did was right. I only wish we had finished the job," he mumbled the last part to himself.

"Why was it right? Huh? Why do we have the right to kill it? Why do we—"

"Listen to yourself," he half shouted at me. "It's getting to you. Don't let it effect you like that. Don't feel guilty, it's not human."

"I know that! Alright? I know it's not human. That doesn't mean that I can just kill it like some sort of an animal," I shouted back.

"Yes, it does! It is dangerous and you know it. You know what they're capable of, you know what it will do if it gets out!"

I laid there for a minute, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, my right hand tangled in my hair. I didn't respond to him and for once he seemed to respect that.

He was right, if it got out it would destroy us, only I didn't think it was looking to get out. I would never tell Kyle that, though. He wouldn't understand, he wanted it gone and he wouldn't see the situation any other way. Jared was protecting it and not even he could see the truth. Just like Kyle, he believed it was a Seeker who had come out here to find us.

I thought back on how scared she was, peeking at me from behind her hands. A Seeker wouldn't have cowered from us like that. It would have lied or tried to find some way out of here, but she hadn't. I knew she had told us nothing but the truth, I knew she wasn't a Seeker. But other than that, I was utterly confused by her. I mean, she was still one of them, still a parasite. The enemy... We would eventually have to do something about her.

Kyle seemed to have lost interest in our _talk_ and went back to playing cards.

I slowly got to my feet and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Kyle asked.

"I have to take a piss, if that's alright with you?" He was really getting on my nerves.

"No, go right ahead." He motioned that it was alright for me to go. I really wished I had something to throw at him then.

I eventually made my way down to the river room. It was dark, I could barely see two feet in front of me. Good thing I knew this place like the back of my hand, or I might have accidentally stumbled into the river.

I sat down on the ground, listening to the babble of the rushing water. It was very peaceful. So much more peaceful than sitting in my room with Kyle.

I sat there for a while trying to clear my mind. And it worked, sort of, anyway. But it didn't matter, I only came down here to get away from Kyle, and once enough time had past I headed back to my room.

Just like I thought, Kyle was sleeping. I crawled into my bed, hoping that everything would make more sense in the morning.

It didn't. And it wasn't the morning when I awoke.

"Hurry up," someone was saying.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be there in a minute," Kyle grumbled.

"We're leaving in a half hour. Meet me in the kitchen, I'm gonna go get the others."

I opened my eyes and saw Jared walking from the room. I glanced over at Kyle, who was packing his bag. They were going on a raid.

I huffed and sat up in my bed. Kyle turned around to look at me.

"You know you guys should really keep your voices down when someone's sleeping," I said.

"Aw, did we wake you up, Ian?" he said in his lame attempt at baby talk. Then he threw his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door. "Night, Bro."

"Don't do anything stupid," I warned.

He was in the hall now, with the door in his hands. "When have you ever known me to do anything stupid?" he smirked, replacing the door.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Kyle would get us all killed one day, I had no doubt of that.

I sat there for a while, not tired enough to go back to sleep. I thought some more about the parasite. I still felt guilty. I still didn't know what to do with it. I tried to think of something, some way to let it live without it putting us all in danger. I guess we could guard it, like Jeb was doing. Now that Jared was gone, I was sure Jeb would need some help watching it.

Without Kyle, I wasn't sure who would try to kill it, but someone would try. And soon, too. They'd want to get rid of it before Jared got back. It would be easier without him here. I could do it easily without him here, but I didn't want to kill it. The guilt surged through me at even the thought of hurting her again. It would be unfair. She didn't do anything. She didn't give us up to the Seekers, she didn't try to escape. She didn't seem to be a danger. I didn't know what I would do, but I knew I would keep trying to find a solution. We wouldn't be able to guard her forever.

Eventually, the room became bright. I looked up at the cracks and deduced that it must be close to breakfast. I made my way down to the kitchen, saying good morning to a few people along the way. I got some food and went to stand over by Wes. We were talking when we heard Jeb coming into the kitchen.

"This way's the kitchen," he said.

The parasite was with him. When she saw all of the people in the room, she tried to press herself as close to the wall as she could. She was trying to hide behind Jeb, but when he walked further into the kitchen, she decided to stay where she was.

She looked around the room a few times. Her eyes landing on some of the people here, Maggie, Sharon, Doc, and eventually me. I saw her eyes bug out of her head when she saw me there, leaning against the counter. The guilt washed over me again. She was afraid of me. Me. The one who had strangled her.

I could see the marks on her neck again and felt ashamed of myself. Even though I knew no one here, besides Jamie that is, cared that I had hurt her, I still felt like they were judging me. I felt like I was on trial and those marks were the evidence that would convict me.

"Everybody full so quick?" Jeb said, his voice full of sarcasm.

I realized that I had been staring at the girl and quickly averted my eyes. I didn't want her to think that I was going to attack her or something.

"Lost our appetites," Maggie mumbled.

Jeb turned to the parasite. "What about you? You hungry?"

Almost everyone in the kitchen groaned simultaneously at that. It had to eat. Jeb had been bringing it food twice a day since it got here. They knew that. I didn't know what they were complaining about.

She shook her head frantically and it just made me feel even worse. She had to be hungry, but she wouldn't eat. She was probably too afraid, everyone in the room was staring daggers at her.

Jeb was making his way back to her with a roll in his hand. "Well, let's just keep on movin'. Nobody seems able to concentrate on their lunch. Easily distracted, this set."

I was still watching the parasite when I saw Jamie jump from his seat on the counter and follow Jeb. I couldn't even imagine what he was going to do.

"Whatcha need, kid?" Jeb asked him.

"Just wondering what you're doing," Jamie answered. He didn't seem upset, more curious than anything.

"Takin' her for a tour of the place. Just like I do for any newcomer."

Another groan went through the room and I was no exception to the rest this time. I wasn't sure I agreed with giving it a tour. Just because I believed her didn't mean I trusted her enough to let her loose on this place. Besides if he was going to let her out, they would try to kill her even faster.

"Can I come?" Jamie asked.

"Doesn't bother me... if you can mind your manners," Jeb told him.

"No problem."

"Let's go," Jeb said to both the parasite and the boy.

As they made their way from the room, my curiosity got the better of me. I wanted to know what was happening with the girl. I wanted to know if I was right to believe her. I figured a good way to do that would be to follow along after them.

When I reached the exit of the kitchen, I noticed Doc was heading after them, too. He smiled at me and raised an eyebrow in my direction. I shrugged and continued forward next to him.

The parasite heard us coming and quickly swept Jamie behind her. Protecting him. It was strange, but I didn't have anytime to think about what it could mean. Jeb spun on his heel and aimed the rifle in our direction.

I raised my hands above my head, surrendering. I really didn't feel like getting shot today. I guess Doc felt the same way because he quickly followed suit.

"We can mind our manners, too," Doc said.

Jeb looked at me then.

"I don't mean any trouble, Jeb. I'll be just as mannerly as Doc," I told him.

"Fine. Just don't test me. I haven't shot anybody in a real long time, and I sort of miss the thrill of it," he joked.

I guess the parasite didn't get it, because it gasped. We all turned to see her face frozen in horror. She was frightened by us humans, the same way we were scared of her. It was kind of funny. Doc started laughing and the rest of us joined him. Except the girl, of course.

"It's a joke," Jamie whispered and the parasite dropped its arm from in front of the kid.

"Well the day's wasting. You'll all have to keep up, 'cause I'm not waiting on you," Jeb said, walking forward down the tunnel.

Jeb showed it around the caves, explaining everything as he went. It was just like when Kyle and I first got here, and just as boring. Doc and I walked behind the others. I noticed the girl stayed as far away from us as possible. She was walking in front of Jeb, instead of behind him.

Doc and I talked to one another occasionally. The parasite wasn't talking and I already knew everything Jeb was saying, so I just hung in the back with Doc.

We eventually made our way down the southern tunnel, to the hospital. As soon as Jeb explained what this place was and that it was where Doc worked, the parasite stopped dead in its tracks. It looked back and forth between Jeb and Doc. It was frightened again. Only I didn't understand why.

What had happened? Nothing. Jeb was just talking about the hospital. Nothing scary about that.

"No. No, it's okay. Really. Right, Uncle Jeb? It's okay, right?" Jamie asked.

"Sure it is," he answered Jamie, then turned to the girl who was still frozen in terror. "Just showing you my place, kid, that's all."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a little annoyed. Did I miss something?

"Did you think we brought you here on purpose, for Doc?" Jamie asked the girl. "Because we wouldn't do that. We promised Jared."

"Oh!" I said, understanding. She thought we had tricked her into coming down here. "That wasn't a bad plan. I'm surprised I didn't think of it."

I guess Jamie didn't think my joke was funny because he was scowling at me. "Don't be scared," he told her.

"So this big room here is fitted up with a few cots incase anyone gets sick or hurt. We've been pretty lucky on that count. Doc doesn't have much to work with in an emergency. Your folks threw out all our medicines when they took over things. Hard to get our hands on what we need," Jeb said, smiling.

The parasite nodded.

"What do you know about alien medicine?" Doc asked, curiously.

She just stared back at him, not saying a word.

"Oh, you can talk to Doc. He's a pretty decent guy, all things considered," Jeb told her.

She shook her head quickly.

"She's not giving away any trade secrets," I told Jeb, then I looked at her. "Are you, sweetheart?"

"Manners, Ian," Jeb yelled. I was only kidding around.

"Is it a secret?" Jamie asked her.

She shook her head again. Why wouldn't it just talk?

"I'm not a Healer. I don't know how they—the medications—work. Only that they _do_ work— they heal, rather then merely treating symptoms. No trial and error. Of course the human medicines were discarded." she whispered.

I wasn't expecting her to tell us. The other night, when she spoke to me and Jared, I thought she only did that because Jared was threatening her. But no one was threatening her now.

"Your kind didn't change too much of what we left behind," Jeb stated. "Just the medical stuff, and the spaceships instead of planes. Other than that, life seems to go on just the same as ever... on the surface."

"We come to experience, not to change. Health takes priority over that philosophy, though," she whispered, but then snapped her mouth shut, seeming to have realized she said something wrong.

What she said wasn't wrong, I guess. I mean, they _did_ change everything when they came here. But maybe they hadn't meant to. I don't know what they thought was going to happen. You can't just go stealing a species world away from them and not expect to change things.

Jeb finished up the tour quickly and we headed back towards the main room. It was a long walk, made longer since no one was speaking. Everyone was too distracted by what the girl had told us to make conversation.

I had never actually talked to a parasite before. It was different then I would have expected. They all seemed so nice, that was what made them scary. It was like the Stepford Wives. But this girl, she wasn't scary. She was... nice, but not overly so. She seemed almost... human.

"Show's over," Jeb said as we entered the main room. "Go do something useful."

He was clearly talking to me and Doc. I rolled my eyes. Jeb really wanted to get us away from the girl. I wasn't going to give him any trouble, though, so I headed back off towards the kitchen.

I went to work in the fields. We were irrigating. It took almost all day. By the time we were finished I was exhausted. When I got to the kitchen it was already full. Everyone there was complaining about the girl.

"I can't believe he's letting it stay in Jared's room. Isn't that terrible? I can't even sleep in my own room tonight!" Paige said, as I made my way over to the counter next to her. Andy had gone out with Jared and Kyle on the raid, so she was already on edge, and it seemed the parasite getting it's own room wasn't helping things.

"I didn't know Jeb was letting her stay in one of the rooms," I said. I didn't know how I felt about that. She wasn't a Seeker, no, and she seemed nice enough, but there was just something about sleeping that close to a parasite that was unsettling.

"He's got it in there right now. I feel like I should go get my things," she cringed like she thought somehow her stuff would become infected or something, "but I don't want to be anywhere near that thing. I don't how you managed to go on a tour with it before." She shook her head.

Taking the tour with it hadn't been that bad. She only spoke the one time. She wasn't threatening, not at all. It was almost...

"Jared's going to be furious when he gets back. I know I would be if a parasite was sleeping in my bed," she shuddered at the thought. I almost did, too.

"Where are you going to sleep?" she asked, but didn't wait for me to respond. "I'm going to cram in with Lily and Trudy."

"I don't know, I guess I'll see if I can stay with Wes," I told her. I don't why, but it just felt like the right thing to do, at the time. The way she was looking at me, it made me feel guilty for believing the parasite. Made me feel like I was somehow betraying my friends. ...Siding with the enemy.

I slept on an extra mattress in Wes' room that night. It was comfortable enough, but there was nothing like sleeping in your own bed at night.

When I woke the next morning, I made a decision. I was going to help Jeb. Doc had guarded the girl last night. Doc always did the right thing. It wasn't betrayal to help another human, even if that human was protecting an alien.

After breakfast, I walked out into the big main room. I saw Jeb coming out of the tunnel that led to the sleeping quarters, the parasite close at his heels.

"Hey, Jeb," I smiled. "Whatcha up to?"

"Turning the soil in the east field," he replied.

"Want some help?" I was going to help him keep an eye on her even if he told me to get lost.

But he didn't tell me to get lost. "Ought to make yourself useful," he muttered.

I began following them, walking behind the girl. When we passed Wes, I had to laugh at his expression. He looked shocked, but I thought that it was more aimed at me than the girl. I don't think anyone would've expected me to be helping Jeb. I had been one of the ones that tried to kill her initially. I think they thought that with Jared gone, I would try again.

"Hey, Doc," I called as we passed him.

"Ian," he nodded. He was working in the kitchen today from the looks of the big wad of dough in his hands. "Morning, Jeb. Morning, Wanda."

It took me a moment to realize he was talking to the girl.

"Morning," Jeb said in return, while the girl just nodded.

"See ya around," Doc said as he turned and headed for the kitchen.

"Wanda, huh?" I asked. I wondered why he had chosen that name. I was pretty sure she hadn't picked it.

"My idea. Suits her, I think," he told me.

"Interesting," I said.

_What a name to be stuck with_ , I laughed to myself.

When we got to the eastern field I saw, first hand, what she was going through. The moment we stepped into the room I could _feel_ the stares, more like glares really, and they weren't even directed at me.

Jeb went to get tools for us. We had to plow the earth to get it ready to be seeded. I stood behind her, her body was tense. She was afraid.

When Jeb came back he handed her the shovel and then gave me the pick. I could see her eyeing the sharp metal tool in my hand. She looked like she was about to bolt any second, but she stayed where she was.

We worked in an area in the back corner of the field. I plowed the earth in front and she shoveled the clumps out of the way. Jeb brought up the rear, breaking up the clumps into useable dirt.

It was hot, the cave was baking, and I was sweating. I took my shirt off and continued working. I focused my hardest on breaking up the ground in front of me, but it wasn't easy when I could feel her looking at me. She was still afraid of me. Did she think I'd hit her with the pick in my hands?

She must be terrified. Everyone here hated her. She was flinching anytime someone moved. I felt so bad for her, but I couldn't do anything about it. I was already doing all I could by staying close and keeping an eye out for her.

She began helping Jeb chop up the dirt clumps. It seemed to distract her, she wasn't flinching as frequently. Heidi was bring water around to everyone, but skipped our group in the back. I took it upon myself to bring back water for the three of us.

When we finished I pulled the pick over my head, stretching my arms. My joints popped from the hard work. Everyone else had finished up their sections, too.

"Good work. We'll seed and water tomorrow," Jeb said to everyone. The others were chatting quietly now, as they left the room.

I looked over at the girl, Wanda, Jeb had called her. She was looking around the room, the shovel still in her right hand. I reached out to take it from her and she looked down at my hand for a second before giving it to me.

I placed our tools in the pile against the wall on my way out. "See you tomorrow, Wanda," I called from the exit.

She had no idea how often she was going to see me. It made me laugh. I had tried to kill her and now I was going to be her own personal bodyguard.


	6. Second Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to apologize to anyone reading this story. I am literally the worst at updating this. So I'm going to ask for help.
> 
> If there is anyone out there willing to help edit this story (or any of my other Host stories) I would be forever grateful. I know someone offered to help in the comments so I'll wait to hear from them. But I do have two other full length Host stories that could use a polish before I post them on here and if anyone is willing, I would really love the help. (I have a hard time noticing my own stupid mistakes sometimes lol. Not to mention it would help with the whole I am constantly forgetting to update thing...)

I left the eastern field and headed toward my room to pick up some clean clothes to change into. I needed to get cleaned up, badly.

It didn't take long to get to my room and pick out some clothes. I took one look at the small pile of clothing on the shelf next to my bed and shook my head.

We didn't have a lot of clothing options down here in the caves. Everything we had was old and dirty and whenever we did get new clothes, they tended to get beat up rather quickly. The tags in the shirts said 'machine wash in warm water' not 'scrub with nasty, acidic soap in a sulfurous hot spring'.

I grabbed a brown t-shirt and a pair of jeans and went to the bathing room. When I got there, the group that had formed looked upset about something. They weren't in the normal line that would have formed, but were in more of a circle, whispering about something. I took one look at Jeb, leaning against the wall, rifle strapped on his shoulder, and knew why no one was in line.

The girl was taking a bath and no one wanted to go in after her. What were they, like, four years old? Did they think they'd get cooties or something?

Ignoring the stares I received, I walked over and waited in line. She might be a parasite, but her body was human. It wasn't like she was contagious or something. It wasn't a disease you could catch. You had to be implanted with one of _them_.

Once everyone realized that they'd eventually have to use the bathing room again, they all fell into line behind me. I could just make out the smirk that was hidden under Jeb's beard.

The others were following my lead, and I guess that's what Jeb wanted. Maybe he thought if he could get one person to accept her, the rest would eventually fall in line. It wasn't a bad plan, I just hoped it worked sooner rather than later.

About ten minutes later, the girl came out of the dark bathing room. She was wearing a plaid shirt with the arms cut off and a pair of old sweat shorts, but she didn't look bad in them. Quite the opposite, actually, she was... pretty.

This was the first time I had been able to see what she really looked like. Before she had been too dirty, but now, with the dirt washed from her hair and face, I could really see her.

She had short brown hair that hung almost to her shoulders. Her skin was a smooth tan, like Jamie's. She looked a lot like the kid, actually. Her eyes were the same chocolate brown that his were, only now there was a shimmer of silver in them, too.

As I looked at her eyes, I realized that the silver in them wasn't as disgusting to me as I would have thought. Every time I had been close enough to one of _them_ to see the reflective glimmer, it made me cringe. That was the only real way to tell that it wasn't human. But this time I didn't feel that way. I knew she wasn't human, I already knew what she was.

The difference a bath can make was shocking. She went from being a parasite pet of Jeb's to looking like... like a woman. A very pretty woman. Somehow that made the guilt come back again.

She quietly made her way over to Jeb. He was laughing at her because of the way she was holding the soap. She handed it to him and then her eyes were on me. Those silver eyes looked right into mine for a second.

"You look better," I said. My voice sounded shocked, I think. I'm not sure if it was because she looked so much different now, or if it was because of the way she was looking at me.

The bruises on her neck looked even worse now that she had washed the dirt off. They were beginning to fade, and I wished they would hurry up. I hated seeing them there.

I wasn't thinking. If I was, I probably wouldn't have done it, but I reached my hand out to touch the place where the shape of my hands were outlining her throat.

I don't know what I was planning on doing, maybe I was just going to brush my fingers across the purple skin. But when she flinched away from me, I snapped back into reality. This girl hated me, she was terrified of me. I had hurt her. Of course she didn't want me touching her.

"Sorry about that," I apologized. I wish I had had the guts to tell her just how sorry I really was, but the words wouldn't come. It didn't matter anyway, she walked away, out of the river room, and Jeb followed her.

Watching her walk away made the guilt triple, and there was something else, too. I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I didn't know why I cared what she thought of me, but I did. I guess, I didn't want people to think of me as a killer, not even a parasite.

I washed up quickly, scrubbing my clothes clean of the purple cave dirt. The soap stung my skin and I chuckled silently. It reminded me of the way the girl was carrying the soap. The way she had it held in between two fingers, so it wouldn't sting as badly.

The next day was the same. Jeb, Wanda and I planted and irrigated the eastern field. I was supposed to be making soap, but I traded with Travis. He said he didn't want to work with the parasite, but I thought that was just being stupid. Why would anyone willingly take soap duty? I'd work with twenty parasites if it would get me out of making that damn soap.

The third day, Jeb had her working in the kitchen. I had other chores to get done, none of which I could trade with any of the women working in the kitchen. I knew Jeb was with her, though, so I wasn't too worried for her. He had the gun, but I didn't think that Trudy or Paige or Lucina would actually hurt Wanda. They'd just ignore her, at the very worst.

The day after that, we had to clean the mirrors, hung high in the cave ceiling. It wasn't something we had to do too often, but whenever the dirt started to impede the flow of light in the room Jeb had us clean them.

I climbed the old wooden ladder while Wanda and Jeb held it steady. It couldn't have been easy for them. _I_ had trouble keeping these ladders steady when Kyle was on them. I could only imagine how difficult it was for her. At least Kyle and I were around the same weight—he was a few pounds heavier—but Wanda was less than half my weight.

When we were finished and walking toward the kitchen, Wanda froze, gasping loudly. I turned to see what was wrong, but nothing was. No one was anywhere near her, besides Jeb and myself.

I stared at her, trying to figure out what had scared her, but she was just staring at Jeb. Her eyes were wide, like he had done something she couldn't believe.

After a few seconds, though, she shook her head and started walking again. She was always getting scared of things, but this time I couldn't figure out what had frightened her.

"What was that about?" I asked Jeb. Wanda didn't talk to me, she hadn't spoken to me since the night in the storage area, but even then she was talking more to Jared.

"Beats me," Jeb answered.

When we walked into the kitchen, everyone was chatting over their food. They all continued eating and talking as we found a seat, none of them noticing, or maybe they were just ignoring, that we were here.

Wanda and I walked over to the counter while Jeb went to get us something to eat. Paige was leaning against the counter to my left, by herself, so I turned to speak to her.

"How are things going? How are you holding up with Andy gone?"

"I'd be fine if I weren't so worried," she said, biting her lip. She always hated it when Andy went out on raids.

"He'll be home soon. Jared always brings everyone home. He's got a real talent. We've had no accidents, no problems since he showed up. Andy will be fine," I assured her, patting her on the shoulder. She nodded and went back to her soup.

Jeb came back then and handed me a tray of food. He sat on the other side of Wanda, smiling as he looked around the room. No one paid any attention to the alien girl seated next to us.

"Things are settling down," I said to him.

"Knew they would. We're all reasonable folks here."

"That's true, at the moment. My brother's not around," I laughed. If Kyle were here, he would most definitely be causing a scene right about now.

"Exactly," Jeb smiled.

And things did calm down. A lot. Jeb started to send her around by herself, had her doing little errands for him. It was good to get her out there by herself every now and then, let people get used to seeing her around. The only time I had a problem with it was when he tried to send her to Doc's by herself.

"Wanda, you remember your way to the hospital? I need ya to take a message to Doc for me." Jeb asked. He was watering the crops in the main field.

"Yes," Wanda answered. She looked terrified. I don't think she was comfortable with Doc or the hospital, yet.

"Good," Jeb smiled, "Go and tell Doc that I need him to take inventory of his supplies. I want to know how quickly we're using 'em up."

"Okay," she whispered and began to walk away.

"I'll go with you," I said, hurrying after her.

She turned and looked at me for a moment and then looked at Jeb. Seeing if he thought it was alright. He nodded at us and continued working.

She looked back at me and then walked to the entrance of the southern tunnel. It was a long walk. She didn't say anything and neither did I. I knew she was still afraid of me and, since this was the first time we had ever really been alone, I didn't want to freak her out more than necessary.

We eventually made it to Doc's and she gave him the message. Doc's books were open on his desk and there were sketches strewn all over. He was planning out more of his experiments. She didn't need to see that, she was scared out of her mind half the time already. What would she do if she saw one of those sketches?

Doc looked at me pointedly. He knew why I was with her, he was protecting her, too. He understood that I still didn't trust the others as much as Jeb did. I shifted my eyes back to the mess of papers covering his desk and he seemed to understand. He quickly thanked Wanda and sent us on our way.

We walked for a minute or two before she spoke to me.

"Ian?"

I was shocked that she was talking to me. This was the first time she had spoken _directly to_ me. "Yes?" I said.

"Why haven't you killed me yet?"

Her question caught me off guard. "That's direct."

"You could, you know. Jeb might be annoyed, but I don't think he'd shoot you," she said. It sounded like she was letting me know that I could get away with it. Like she was giving me permission.

"I know," I told her. It was true, I _could_ kill her and Jeb _wouldn't_ shoot me. But I didn't _want_ to kill her. I wasn't sure that I wanted to have this conversation with her, though. I had talked about it with Jeb and Doc, but they both had wild ideas about her that I just couldn't believe.

Jeb and Doc had told me their theory about how the human girl, Melanie, was still inside the body. Sharing it with Wanda. I hadn't believed any of it, though. They were just crazy theories.

She probably should know that I didn't want to hurt her. It would make protecting her easier.

"It doesn't seem fair. I've been thinking about it a lot and I can't see how killing you would make anything right. It would be like executing a private for a general's war crimes," I admitted. "Now, I don't buy into all of Jeb's crazy theories―it would be nice to believe, sure, but just because you want something to be true doesn't make it that way. Whether he's right or wrong, though, you don't seem to mean us any harm."

I thought about how she acted around Jamie. She was always so concerned for him. She seemed to want to protect him the same way she protected Jared from Kyle that first night.

"I have to admit, you seem honestly fond of that boy. It's very strange to watch. Anyway, as long as you don't put us in danger, it seems... _cruel_ to kill you. What's one more misfit in this place?"

She thought about that for a few minutes, as we walked along. I couldn't help but peek at her from the corner of my eye. Did I offend her? I didn't think I said anything wrong, I was just trying to explain how I felt.

"If you don't want to kill me, then why did you come with me today?" she finally asked.

Now, it was my turn to think about what she had said. I wasn't sure if I should tell her the truth. I didn't want to scare her. But she was already scared, she thought I had come with her today to kill her. She deserved the truth.

"I'm not sure that..." I started again, "Jeb thinks things have calmed down, but I'm not completely sure about that. There are still a few people..." I trailed off. I couldn't say it to her, tell her they still wanted to murder her. "Anyway, Doc and I have been trying to keep an eye on you when we can. Just in case. Sending you down the south tunnel seemed like pushing your luck, to me. But that's what Jeb does best―he pushes luck as far as it will go."

"You... you and Doc are trying to _protect_ me?" she sounded shocked. Of course she was shocked. Why would she think I would protect her after the way I'd treated her?

"Strange world, isn't it?" I smirked.

It took her a few seconds to answer. Still reeling from the bombshell I'd just dropped on her, I suppose.

"The strangest," she said.

We walked the rest of the way back in silence. I couldn't understand why she had willingly gone with me if she thought I was going to kill her. I felt better, though. The guilt I had felt, finally, seemed to ease a little. She knew how I felt now. She knew I was trying to help her.

Over the next couple of weeks, things became easier. Either Jeb, Jamie, Doc, or I always worked with Wanda. Jeb and Jamie always ate with her, unless Jamie was in school, and I always sat near them. She still didn't speak to me much. I think she was still uncertain about my motives. But whether she believed me or not, she never complained about me hanging around. She would get used to me eventually, she'd realize that I meant her no harm.

Jeb wanted Wanda to teach us about the universe. He had been pestering her for a while now. She had refused, so he asked Doc and I to get her talking. One day, during dinner, Jeb finally got his way.

Jamie and Wanda were sitting on the counter about a foot away from me. Doc walked over to play his part in Jeb's scheme and I turned around to join their conversation.

He started asking her questions about the different species that the parasites had come across. At first, she was a little resistant. She had Jamie tell Doc about one of the planets. It had Bears and ice cities, it sounded like something out of a fairytale.

Then Doc asked her how they were able to learn so much about humans. She stumbled over her answer.

"They... they take samples."

"Alien abductions." I smiled. Her eyes flickered to my face, but she ignored my comment. She was _trying_ to make it sound less offensive to us.

"Makes sense," Doc said. He continued his questioning, asking her about her home planet, the one her species started out on.

She told us about how her species had left their home world and explored farther into the universe. She knew the Souls whole history. If someone asked me about human history, I don't think I would have been able to answer so thoroughly.

"You speak of it almost as if you were there," I said. "How long ago did this happen?"

"After the dinosaurs lived here, but before you did," she answered. "I was not there, but I remember some of what my mother's mother's mother remembered of it."

Was it possible that she _could_ have been there? What she was talking about would have happened tens of thousands of years ago.

I leaned closer to her, staring into her silver eyes, extremely interested in her answer. "How old are _you_?"

"I don't know in Earth years."

"An estimate?"

I was not expecting the answer she gave me.

"Thousands of years, maybe. I lose track of the years spent in hibernation," she answered.

I leaned back, my eyes wide. The woman sitting in front of me was no more than twenty years old, but that was just her body. That was Melanie, not _Wanda_. Wanda was... _thousands_ of years old?

It was very strange to talk to someone who had lived so long. I suddenly felt very insignificant next to her. She must know so much. I had never thought about the Souls like that before. I had never seen them as anything but monsters, but Wanda had lived for so long before she even came here. She wasn't always the alien who stole Melanie's body, she was her own being, had a life of her own. And now she was stuck down in these caves with a bunch of humans who were trying to kill her.

It made me wonder if she would rather be somewhere else? She must want to be anywhere but here. I didn't like knowing that I was one of the reasons she would want to leave our group.

"Wow, that's old," Jamie murmured.

"But in a very real sense, I'm younger than you," she told him. "Not even a year old. I feel like a child all the time."

"What's the aging process for your kind? The natural life span?" Doc asked.

"We don't have one. As long as we have a healthy host body, we can live forever," she said.

I felt my mouth begin to open, but I quickly snapped it shut. She could live forever. As long as she had a healthy host. The parasites were never going to die out. They would never leave this planet. They'd breed more bodies and when they needed to, they'd trade in their host for a younger model.

Everyone else in the room was thinking the same thing I was, because I heard the loud murmur that echoed through the cave.

"Beautiful," Sharon said, her tone angrier than the others. She was facing the other direction, refusing to look at any of us.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Wanda whispered to Jamie, hopping down off the counter. The group's reaction upset her. She didn't like angering people, and Sharon's comment, mixed with the angry murmurs, was too much for her.

It made me mad, seeing her run away from them like that. Doc asked the question and all she did was answer it truthfully. Why should they be mad at that? It wasn't Wanda's fault that the parasites didn't die. It wasn't her fault that they had come in the first place. She shouldn't have to leave, her dinner lying unfinished on the counter, just because they didn't want to hear the truth.

She had as much a right as them to be here, she worked harder than all of us combined. What right did they have to make her feel bad about who she was?

Jamie got up to follow her, but I stopped him. "Wait," I said.

He turned and looked at me. We hadn't really spoken much since I started helping out with Wanda, but we did spend enough time around each other that I knew he wasn't mad at me anymore.

"Yeah? I need to go find Wanda," he said, the slightest trace of anxiety on his face as his eyes moved between my face and the exit.

"Here," I said, handing him Wanda's unfinished roll. "Give this to her."

Jamie smiled at me and grabbed the roll.

"Tell Wanda I want to hear the rest of that story tomorrow. We'll be in the fields together, plenty of time for more questions." I grinned as he made his way to the exit.

He turned around, a huge smile on his face now. "I'll let her know!" he called back, before disappearing down the hall.

And I did ask her questions the next day while we weeded the spinach in the main field. She hated it. Said something about my questions distracting her from her chores. Eventually she made a deal with us, she would teach at night, after dinner, and we wouldn't ask her questions during the day. We would meet in the kitchen. Wanda would bake bread while she told us anything we wanted to know about the other planets.

It was like she had to be doing something. She couldn't just sit still, not even for five minutes. I'd never met anyone that worked as hard as Wanda. It was like she thought she needed to work harder than the rest of us just to fit in.

Everyone was starting to feel more comfortable around Wanda. Some of the others even spoke to her now. Trudy and Lily, especially. I had always liked them, they were good people. They could see past their prejudices, they could see that Wanda wasn't a danger to us.

We were all sitting in the kitchen one night, it had been four weeks since Wanda was introduced into our community. She was baking, of course, and Jamie was telling everyone about the Dolphins. They were a species of dragonfly-like creatures that the Souls had recently discovered. Everyone was interested in them because we all felt bad for the poor creatures, we knew what they were going through.

I was sitting on the counter next to the stove. I needed to be close to her... just in case. I didn't think anyone here would try anything, but I wasn't taking chances with her life. She deserved better than that.

There was a loud echo through the caves. Something was going on outside the kitchen.

The raiders. They were back.

Jeb and Doc hadn't come to Wanda's class tonight. They were welcoming Jared and Kyle and all of the others home, I knew it.

"Hey!" Jamie shouted, running from the room. Apparently he figured it out, too, only he was happy to have them home. He wasn't scared to death like I was.

 _Wanda_. They would try to hurt her. Kyle would most definitely try to... kill her.

I couldn't let them.

I turned to look at Wanda, she turned around to see Jamie running out to meet the returning raiders.

She didn't realize what it meant. The noises outside, Jamie running to meet the others... She started after him.

"Wait. He'll be back. Tell us more about the Dolphins," I said, as I reached out and touched her wrist.

She flinched away. I hated it when she did that. I hated that she was still afraid of me. But I understood, how could she not be afraid of me? I couldn't blame her for hating me, I hated myself.

"What's going on out there?" she asked me.

"Who knows? Maybe Jeb..." I started, but then trailed off. I couldn't lie to her, but I couldn't tell her the truth, either. So instead, I just shrugged.

She shrugged, too, and went back to talking about the Dolphins. I wasn't really listening to what she was saying, though. I was too busy staring at the cave entrance, waiting for the fight that was coming.

Hopefully, Jeb would have the gun. I couldn't take Jared _and_ Kyle by myself, let alone Brandt, Aaron and Andy.

When the raiders hit the doorway, they froze. Jared was in the front, Jamie hanging onto his arm, with Jeb standing behind them. The rest were all following behind Jared. Wanda was still talking about grandparents or something. They were all staring at her, murder in their eyes.

Then Wanda stopped talking. She was looking right at Jared.

"Here we go," I muttered to myself.

This wasn't going to be good. But I wouldn't let them hurt her. I'd figure something out. This innocent girl didn't deserve what was coming for her.


	7. Fighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't completely forget to update this time! Yay!
> 
> Reminder: I'm looking for a beta for my Host stories, so if anyone is interested let me know! Please :)

Jared's hand curled into a fist and he took a step forward. "What is the meaning of this, Jeb?"

"Wanda is teaching us all about the universe," Jamie explained. He was excited. He didn't see the hate in Jared's eyes.

" _Wanda_?" Jared snarled. The men standing behind him hissed at the name as well.

"Andy!" I heard Paige screech as she ran across the crowded room. She wasn't exactly watching where she was going and tripped over Wes, but Andy caught her before she could fall.

Everyone in the kitchen began welcoming the raiders home. They all looked guilty, guilty for being caught consorting with a parasite.

Wanda must be so scared. Jared and Jeb were the only ones who had protected her. And now Jared looked like he wanted to kill someone because she was still alive. Jeb had left the decision to him, maybe that someone Jared was going to kill was her.

_No, never. I'll never let that happen_ , I swore.

"It's going to be okay, Wanda," I told her, keeping my eyes on the raiders. She was staring at me. I hoped she knew that I would protect her. I didn't want her to be afraid for her life, even if I was.

"What the hell, people?" Kyle pushed his way around the crowd and headed straight towards Wanda. "You're letting it tell you its lies? Have you all gone crazy? Or did it lead the Seekers here? Are you _all_ parasites now?"

I hopped down off the counter and placed myself in front of Wanda. If Kyle or anyone else wanted to hurt her, they'd have to go through me first.

"Things changed while you were gone, brother," I told him, my voice flat, serious.

He stopped moving and his mouth flew open. "Did the Seekers come then, Ian?"

He was such an idiot. He knew very well the Seekers hadn't come. I bet he thought that I would've killed her by now. That's why he was so shocked. He thought I could...

He didn't know me at all.

"She's not a danger to us," I said. I knew I couldn't convince Kyle, but maybe I could get someone to listen. Maybe Jared...

Kyle gritted his teeth and reached into his pocket.

"Don't get in his way, Ian," Wanda blurted out.

I wanted to turn around and look at her. She sounded so frightened, like the way she did that first night, when she thought we might hurt Jared. Only this time it was me she was concerned for.

I wanted to tell her it was alright, but I couldn't, not with Kyle this close. If I let down my guard he might try something.

Kyle pulled a flashlight from his pocket and I knew what he was going to do. He knew it was me, shining the light in my eyes and checking was just him being dramatic.

"So, what, then? You're not a parasite. How did it get to you?" he asked.

"Calm down, and we'll tell you all about it."

"No," Jared said. He had been standing by the entrance, but now was slowly making his way through the crowd, Jamie still clinging to him.

The kid looked confused. He didn't understand what was going on. He thought everything was great, everyone was back home. He didn't see what the problem was.

"I don't think anyone needs to calm down. Jeb," Jared said, "give me the gun."

My stomach churned. I didn't know what to do. The gun I had wanted before was now my worst enemy. Jared was going to shoot her.

"Don't happen to have it on me," Jeb told him.

_Thank you, Jeb_. I was beginning to feel like I was the only one trying to protect her. Sure, some of the others―Lily, Wes, Trudy, Walter―they didn't look like they liked the idea of Wanda being killed, but they weren't doing anything to stop it.

Jared looked at Jeb for a moment, before turning back towards Wanda. "Fine. It will be slower this way, though. It would be more humane if you were to find that gun fast."

"Please, Jared, let's talk," I said, moving to put myself in front of Wanda again.

"I think there's been too much talk. Jeb left this up to me and I've made my decision."

Jeb cleared his throat and Jared spun to look at him.

"What?" Jared asked. "You made the rule, Jeb."

Jeb _did_ say it was Jared's decision. And Jeb didn't usually go back on his rules.

"Well, now, that's true," Jeb said.

Jared turned back around. He looked at Wanda, such hatred in his eyes, before looking at me. "Ian," he growled, "get out of my way."

"Well, well, hold on a sec," Jeb said. "If you recall, the rule was that whoever the body belonged to got to make the decision."

"And?" Jared said through gritted teeth.

"Seems to me like there's someone here with a claim just as strong as yours. Mebbe stronger."

It took Jared a few seconds to understand what Jeb was saying. When he finally figured it out he looked down at Jamie, who looked horrified. I guess he finally understood what was happening.

"You can't, Jared. You wouldn't. Wanda's good. She's my friend! And Mel! What about Mel? You can't kill Mel! Please! You have to ―" Jamie choked on his words. I thought he was going to break into tears at any moment.

"So, you can see that Jamie's not in agreement. I figure he's got as much say as you do," Jeb said. His voice was just as calm as ever.

Jared stared at Jamie for a while before answering. "How could you let this happen, Jeb?" was all he said.

"There is a need for some talk. Why don't you take a breather first, though? Maybe you'll feel more up to conversation after a bath."

No one spoke for another minute or so. Jared stared at Jeb—in shock, no doubt—before finally turning to leave.

"Kyle," Jared barked over his shoulder, ordering my brother from the room.

Kyle looked at me for a moment, before following Jared out. The contempt on his face would have almost made me feel bad, if he wasn't so wrong in this case.

The rest of the raiders, along with most of the rest of the room, left with them. Only a select few―me, Jeb, Jamie, Trudy, Geoffrey, Heath, Lily, Wes, and Walter―stayed with Wanda.

"Whew! That was close. Nice thinking, Jeb," I said, once the others were gone.

"Inspiration in desperation. But we're not out of the woods yet," Jeb said.

"Don't I know it! You didn't leave the gun anywhere obvious, did you?"

"Nope. I figured this might be comin' on soon."

"That's something, at least."

Wanda walked over to a frightened Jamie and he wrapped his arms around her.

"It's okay. It's okay," she tried to comfort him. The lie was very apparent in her voice. She didn't believe it was going to be okay. Didn't believe _she_ was going to be okay.

"He won't hurt you. I won't let him," Jamie cried. I knew exactly how he felt. Those were the exact words I wanted to say to her.

I walked over and patted the kid on the back. "Don't agonize over it, kid. You're not in this alone," I told him.

"They're just shocked, that's all," Trudy said. "Once we get a chance to explain, they'll see reason."

Everyone was gathered in a small circle around Wanda and Jamie. They wanted to be there for her.

"See reason? Kyle?" Geoffrey said incredulously.

"We knew this was coming," Jeb said. "Just got to weather it. Storms pass."

"Maybe you ought to find that gun," Lily told Jeb. "Tonight might be a long one. Wanda can stay with Heidi and me ―"

"I think it might be better to keep her somewhere else," I disagreed. She was crazy if she thought I was letting Wanda out of my sight for one minute. "Maybe in the southern tunnels? I'll keep an eye on her. Jeb, wanna lend me a hand?"

"They wouldn't look for her with me." Walter offered. It was nice, but not a good choice. If they did look for her there, he'd be helpless to stop them.

"I'll tag along with you, Ian. There're six of them," Wes said.

"No," Wanda choked out. "No. That's not right. You shouldn't fight with each other. You all belong here. You belong together. Not fighting, not because of me."

We weren't fighting _because_ of her, we were fighting for her. Fighting for her life.

She moved away from Jamie's embrace and took his arms, holding them in front of her to stop him from grabbing her again.

"I just need a minute to myself. I need to be alone," she told him, before turning to Jeb. "And you should have a chance to discuss this without me listening. It's not fair―having to discuss strategy in front of the enemy."

"Now, don't be like that," Jeb said.

"Let me have some time to think, Jeb." She moved away from Jamie as she spoke.

I put my hand on her shoulder and she cringed. I really hated that. She knew I wanted to protect her, we were even friends, sort of, and she still flinched every time I touched her. I didn't blame her, it was my own fault, but still...

"It's not a good idea for you to be wandering around by yourself," I told her.

She leaned in close to me, trying to keep Jamie from overhearing. "Why prolong the inevitable? Will it get easier or harder for him?"

With that she turned and ran from the room. Wanda was fast. I didn't know she was so fast.

"Wanda!" Jamie yelled. Jeb quickly shushed him; people didn't need to know she was out there by herself.

"I'll go find her," I said, walking to the exit.

"You'll do no such thing," Jeb said and I turned to look at him. Was he crazy? We couldn't just leave her out there by herself, what if Kyle or Jared...

"Jeb―" I tried to protest.

"Doc needs help," he said simply. "Trudy and the rest can look."

_Doc needs help_. I felt my muscles tense, my jaw clench. Jared had brought back more test subjects for Doc. More experiments that would come to nothing, but death for the humans and souls alike.

_It never works, they should just give up already_ , I thought.

I took a deep breath, trying to come up with an argument, one that would work to get me out of helping Doc. I couldn't come up with anything Jeb would go for. After a minute I finally just walked down to Doc's, Jeb following behind, while the others searched, discreetly, for Wanda.

Jeb wanted to discuss things with Doc. That was one of the reasons he had made me come along. And Doc did need the extra muscle in case one of the bodies the raiders had brought back woke up.

When we walked into the hospital, Doc looked upset. The bodies were lying on the cots and nothing appeared to have happened, so I figured he was worried about Wanda.

"What happened?" Doc asked anxiously when he saw us coming through the entrance.

"Jeb let her run off by herself," I rolled my eyes.

"She asked to be left alone and those boys are probably all passed out in their rooms by now, anyway," Jeb said.

"Doc, you understand, don't you? You know it's too dangerous..." I pleaded, but Jeb interrupted me.

"Ian, I know we can't let them hurt her. And they won't. She needs a little time to herself is all," Jeb said.

No. She didn't need time to herself, she needed our protection. How could he be so calm? I was freaking out! Didn't he care about her at all? She considered him her friend, yet he was doing nothing to help her now.

"They aren't unreasonable. I'm sure if we sit down and discuss this like adults we'll be able to..." Doc reasoned.

"Doc, listen to what your saying. 'They aren't unreasonable'? This is Kyle we're talking about!" I said. Kyle was the only one who wouldn't listen. The others might have a hard time with it, at first, but no one was as pig-headed as Kyle.

"We're just gonna have to give 'em a chance to cool down. It's a lot to expect them to deal with. You've had weeks to come to terms with Wanda being here," said Jeb. I began to protest, but he stopped me. "And if I remember correctly, you were a little angry that she was here, too."

Why did he have to bring that up? The guilt that I’d thought was slowly going away came back in that moment, full force.

"Yeah, but..." I tried, but there was nothing I could say to him. It wasn't different with me. I had hated her just like they did. "We can't just leave her out there, unprotected," I said, finally.

"She asked to be alone, so that's what she gets. She's not our prisoner. If she wants to sit by herself and think things through, that's her right," Jeb said.

She didn't deserve any of this, it wasn't fair. She could be dead right now. Trudy or Wes or someone could come in any moment saying they'd found her body.

I had the urge to run, go and find her and keep her safe, but I didn't. She was fine. She would be fine. Jeb was right, she needed time. She had been through alot, and it wasn't like she trusted me or any of us, really.

_She must be so scared_ , I thought. Knowing everyone around you wants you dead. It must be terrible.

I thought about what she had said when she ran away. _Why prolong the inevitable? Will it get easier or harder for him?_ She cared about Jamie so much. Why couldn't Jared see that? She was willing to let them kill her now, just to keep the kid from hurting more.

I sighed, remembering how she leaned in to keep Jamie from hearing. She was so close, I could have just grabbed her and kept her there with me. I could have stopped her. She was so close...

I remembered how she smelled. Her hair... it smelled like baking bread. She smelled good, better than any of the rest of us, who smelled like dirt and sweat.

She wasn't dangerous. How could they think that? She was sweet and kind and sort of funny sometimes, but never on purpose. She was always doing or saying something that made me want to laugh. How could anyone see her as a threat? She was as innocent as a little kitten.

Kyle was stubborn and would never see past his hate. I didn't think Jared would, either. Wanda _was_ might, she was always doing things for others. What if she thought she had to do this to protect Jamie? That's what it seemed like she was saying back in the kitchen.

"Jeb, can I please go check on her?" I pleaded.

"Not right now, Ian. Let her be for a little while," Jeb said, firmly.

"What if she's hurt? What if they’re..." I began to say, but at that very moment, Kyle came walking into the hospital.

I glared at him, all the anxiety I had been feeling suddenly plummeting to my stomach, twisting it into knots. Why was he here? Had he hurt her? If he hurt her I'd...

"Somethin' we can help you with, Kyle?" Jeb asked.

"No, actually, I was wondering if Doc needed any help?" he said.

I rolled my eyes at him. Like Kyle had ever volunteered to help anyone in his life. I was pretty sure the only reason he did his chores around here was because Jeb had threatened him with the gun.

"Thank you, Kyle. I could use some help. I'm going to get started in one moment." Doc smiled, completely oblivious to the devilish glint in Kyle's eyes. He was up to something.

"No problem," Kyle said, then he turned to me, smiling. I don't know why, but I lost it then. He was planning something, I knew it, and I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

I marched over to him and got right in his face. I knew he thought I was going to scream by the way he flinched, but when I spoke it was barely above a whisper.

"Kyle, I know what you're thinking. I won't allow it. You're going to stay away from her."

Kyle looked furious, but instead of screaming back like I thought he would, he just laughed. "Sure, whatever, Bro."

"Kyle, I mean it. I'm not going to let you or anyone hurt her," I told him, louder now. He was beginning to piss me off.

"It's not a girl, Ian. It's a freaking alien. A worm, a bug, a parasite. It's..." Jeb cleared his throat, cutting Kyle off mid-sentence.

Jeb looked at us for a few moments before looking at Doc. Doc was standing next to one of the cots that held the unconscious bodies, scalpel in hand.

"Do you boys think you could take this outside? I need my concentration..." Doc asked.

I quickly grabbed Kyle's shoulder, forcing him from the room. I wasn't giving up on this discussion just yet.

Once we were in the hall he continued his rant. "It's not human, Ian. Do you think it would hesitate to call its little Seeker friends on you if the roles were reversed? If you were in its world?"

He still thought she was a Seeker. How could I convince him? He wasn't going to listen. "She's not a Seeker, Kyle. She won't hurt us! Can't you just give her a chance?"

"You know as well as I do that you can't let your guard down around them for one second! Do you remember what happened with Mom and Dad or do you need me to remind you?"

The hate in his eyes reminded me of that first night when I... I had blamed her for my parent's deaths. I blamed her for my world being taken from me, but it wasn't _her_ fault. She wasn't the one who decided to come here. It wasn't fair to blame her. What he was saying reminded me of myself that first night.

"She had no part in what happened to them!" I growled.

"Maybe not her specifically, but her kind did. They came here with the sole intention of killing us. All of us. They wanted to wipe out all of humanity! And they succeeded!"

"So you want to kill one poor, defenseless girl because her family did something terrible? She had nothing to do with it! It wasn't her who made the decision to come here and end our world," I said, the last part only a whisper. It wasn't her fault. Our fight wasn't with this one girl. She didn't deserve it.

"Ian, why are you doing this?"

I wasn't expecting his question. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to explain it exactly. It was just... _wrong_ to try and hurt her.

"She's different. She's not lying. I know it. I'm sure. I can... I can _feel_ it," I muttered.

He didn't say anything, at first. Maybe he was listening. Maybe he would trust me, the way he had years ago, at the start of the invasion. My gut had been right then, maybe he'd believe me now, too.

"Kyle, please, can you just trust me on this?" I pleaded.

"I can't do it, Ian. That thing can't stay here," he said. When he saw I was about to interrupt he started speaking again. "Look, I feel your pain, Bro. I really do. It's been awhile. I get that, but you know this is wrong."

I shook my head. "Kyle, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Ian, it's okay to feel... lonely. But this is _not_ the right girl..."

Suddenly, what he was saying made sense. He thought I... What the hell was wrong with him? How could he think I'd take advantage of someone like that?

"What the hell is wrong with you? That's not what this is about!" I boomed.

"Oh, really? So you've never thought about it? Not at all?"

I ground my teeth together and glared at him. I wasn't going to dignify that with a response.

He smirked at me. "Ian, what your feeling is nothing more than years of pent up..."

" _Shut up_ , Kyle!" I yelled, my voice echoing off the cave walls. "Just shut up and keep away from her!"

I turned around and went back into the hospital. I couldn't deal with Kyle anymore. What was he thinking? Why would he think _that_ , of all things?

Doc was already working on his second victim. The first one was dead. Silver blood smeared all over the cot.

I felt nauseous. I had wanted to do that to Wanda just a few weeks ago. I couldn't imagine what that must feel like. Doc wasn't very... gentle with the souls inside the human bodies. He cut them and ripped them apart, trying to get them out and leave the human intact. All in vain, of course. The human brain never survived.

Doc was never himself after one of his mutilations—he hated that he couldn't figure it out, hated that he hurt the human body—but this time he looked worse. Already, his face was contorted in misery. I could only imagine that was because of Wanda. He liked her, too. _He must be thinking about her_ , I thought as he finished up with the second body.

Kyle walked back in then. I didn't bother looking at him.

When Doc had finished stitching up the corpse, he walked over to his desk and grabbed a bottle of brandy from a case that was sitting there. Jared must have brought it back from the raid.

I shook my head as Doc downed a huge gulp of alcohol, then went to grab one of the bodies. I looked at Jeb, who was sitting against the cave wall, before turning to Kyle. He needed to help me get the second body outside. We needed to bury them while it was still dark.

As much as I didn't want to work with Kyle right now, he was the only one here. Jeb couldn't drag the body all the way outside and dig a six foot grave and I didn't think Doc would be leaving the brandy anytime soon. So I, along with Kyle, dragged the bodies outside and buried them.


	8. Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't posted in awhile! I'm going to try to be better about it I swear!

It was morning by the time we had finished burying the bodies. Jared had come out to give me and Kyle a hand, but it still took all night. I was covered in dusty sand and so were Kyle and Jared.  
  
When we came back in through the small entrance in the hospital, Doc was out of it. He was almost finished with his second bottle of brandy. Jeb was sitting against the wall, keeping an eye on him. Sharon wasn't there.   
  
_She should be here_ , I thought. _I mean, she is his girlfriend, shouldn't she be here to comfort him, help him_? I could never let someone I love suffer like that. I didn't think I could let anyone suffer like that. Not if I could help them. But I couldn't think about helping Doc right now.   
  
Kyle and Jared were heading for the exit. I followed them out, walking quickly, and soon I was ahead of them in the black tunnel. I had to find Wanda. Who knows what she had gone through last night?   
  
After what felt like an eternity, I was finally in the main plaza. I breathed a sigh of relief as I saw Wanda and Jamie walking around the edge of the garden. She was alright.   
  
"There you are," I said, my voice sounded anxious. I hoped she didn't hear it.   
  
I closed the distance between us with a few long strides and grabbed her under the elbow, hurrying her along. Jared and Kyle weren't too far behind me in the tunnel and would break through into the garden at any moment. I didn't want Wanda there when they did.   
  
"Let's duck in here for a minute." I pulled her into the black tunnel that led to the eastern field; it was close and deserted. And Kyle and Jared had no reason to come this way.   
  
After a few seconds, I could hear them, headed for the bathing room. Wanda must have heard them too, because she tensed a little. So did I; the hand I held her with gripped her elbow with a little more force.   
  
". . . don't know why we let him keep trying. When it's over, it's over," Jared muttered.   
  
"He really thought he had it this time. He was so sure.… Oh, well. It will be worth all this if he figures it out someday," Kyle said.   
  
"If." Jared said, voice full of sarcasm. "I guess it's a good thing we found that brandy. Doc's going to blow through the whole crate by nightfall at the rate he's going."   
  
"He'll pass out soon enough. I wish Sharon would…"

And then they were gone. Too far away to hear anymore.   
  
We stayed in the dark a few minutes more, Wanda, Jamie, and me. I realized I was still holding her arm and let go. She didn't want me touching her any more than was necessary.   
  
"Jared promised," Jamie said. I guess they had spoken last night. Well, whether he promised or not, I wasn't convinced. But I wasn't going to argue with the kid about it, and I didn't want to scare Wanda, so I let it go.   
  
"Yeah, but Kyle didn't," I said, walking back out into the bright cave.   
  
I turned around to look at Wanda and noticed she had a crate of dishes in her hands. _Of course she would, she's always trying to help out_ , I thought.   
  
"No dishes now," I told her. "Let's give them a chance to clean up and move on."   
  
She looked towards the tunnel that led to the river room, the one Jared and Kyle had just gone down. For the first time today, I saw the right side of her face. There was a huge gash on her cheek, jaw to cheek bone. It was caked in blood and dirt and gravel.   
  
A growl ripped up from my chest. Jared must have done that before he came outside. If Kyle had found her she'd be dead right now.   
  
Wanda turned to look at me. She looked scared. My face softened at the fear in her eyes, I hadn't meant to scare her. I reached out to her. I just wanted to turn her head, to get a better look at her wound. I wanted to make sure she was alright, but she flinched away from me again and I dropped my hand.   
  
"That makes me so sick. And worse, knowing that if I hadn't stayed behind, I might have been the one to do it.…" I couldn't think about it.   
  
"It's nothing, Ian." She shook her head.   
  
"I don't agree with _that_." It _was_ something. Jared had beaten the crap out of her once again, and she wasn't even complaining. She didn't want anyone to make a big deal out of it. She shouldn't think it was okay for him to beat up on her like that. It wasn't. I don't care what species she was, she wasn't a worthless piece of trash. She deserved better than that.   
  
"You probably ought to get to school. It's better that we get everything back to normal as soon as possible," I said, turning to Jamie.   
  
"Sharon will be a _nightmare_ today," he groaned, looking pleadingly at me.   
  
"Time to take one for the team, kid. I don't envy you," I said, smiling.   
  
"Keep an eye on Wanda," he told me.   
  
"Will do." Like I needed to be told.   
  
Jamie walked off, looking back at us every now and then.   
  
"Here, give me those," I said, pulling the dishes from Wanda's hands.   
  
"They weren't too heavy for me," she muttered.   
  
I grinned at her. "I feel silly standing here with my arms empty while you lug these around. Chalk it up to gallantry. C'mon―let's go relax somewhere out of the way until the coast is clear."   
  
I turned and headed down the eastern tunnel, to the cornfield. She followed silently behind me. I figured it was a good enough place as any to hide her. And it was nicer than hiding in some dark hole somewhere. The field was bright, and sitting there in the dirt, you could almost pretend you were outside with the sun shining down on you.   
  
I walked out into the middle of the field and sat there. Wanda sat next to me, crossing her legs in front of her.   
  
"Well, this is out of the way. But shouldn't we be working?" she asked.   
  
"You work too hard, Wanda. You're the only one who never takes a day off."   
  
"It gives me something to do," she mumbled.   
  
"Everyone is taking a break today, so you might as well."   
  
She looked at me for a second and then said, "You look like you've been working."   
  
I forgot that I was filthy. She wasn't stupid, she'd guess that I was hiding something, but I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't lie to her either, though, so instead I just avoided the subject. "But I'm resting now."   
  
"Jamie won't tell me what's going on," she frowned.   
  
"No. And neither will I." I felt bad for not telling her, but she shouldn't have to know about those poor people we buried this morning.   
  
I sighed. "It's nothing you want to know anyway."   
  
She stared at the dirt, imagining. She looked like she was going to be sick.   
  
"It's not really fair, seeing as I won't answer your question, but do you mind if I ask you one?" I said.   
  
"Go ahead," she told me, still looking at the ground.   
  
I didn't know how to ask her. I stared at my dirt covered fingers, trying to decide how to say it.   
  
"I know you're not a liar. I know that now. I'll believe you, whatever your answer is." I paused. "I didn't buy Jeb's story before, but he and Doc are pretty convinced.…" I looked up at her then. "Wanda? Is she still in there with you? The girl whose body you wear?"   
  
"Yes. Melanie is still here."   
  
I nodded slowly. "What is it like? For you? For her?" Maybe it was none of my of my business, but I was curious.   
  
"It's… frustrating, for us both. At first I would have given anything to have her disappear the way she should have. But now I… I've gotten used to her." She smiled. "Sometimes it's nice to have the company. It's harder for her. She's like a prisoner in many ways. Locked away in my head. She prefers that captivity to disappearing, though."   
  
"I didn't know there was a choice," I told her.   
  
"There wasn't in the beginning. It wasn't until your kind discovered what was happening that any resistance started. That seems to be the key―knowing what's going to happen. The humans who were taken by surprise didn't fight back."   
  
It was just morbid curiosity, but I had to ask. "So if I were caught?"   
  
"I doubt you would disappear," she said, her eyes boring into mine. "Things have changed, though. When they catch full-grown humans now, they don't offer them as hosts. Too many problems." She smiled a little. "Problems like _me_. Going soft, getting sympathetic to my host, losing my way…"   
  
So if we were caught, we wouldn't be used as hosts. Would they kill us then? What else could they do with us? Would they try to get information from us? Or would they just shoot us?   
  
"What would they do with me, then, if they caught me now?" I asked after a while.   
  
"They'd still do an insertion, I think. Trying to get information. Probably they'd put a Seeker in you."   
  
I shuddered. The thought of a Seeker inside of me, using my body to kill all of my friends... it sickened me.   
  
"But they wouldn't keep you as a host. Whether they found the information or not, you would be… discarded." She had a hard time saying the last word. Of course she would, she wasn't violent. The idea of killing another living being must have appalled her.   
  
"And if they caught _you_?" I asked. As I stared into her eyes, I couldn't stop myself. I needed to know what would happen to her. If the Seekers came, found her here... with us, would she be punished? ... _Killed_?   
  
"If they realized who I was… if anyone is still looking for me…" She shuddered at the thought of someone looking for her. "They would take me out and put me in another host. Someone young, tractable. They would hope that I would be able to be myself again. Maybe they would ship me off-planet―get me away from the bad influences."   
  
"Would you be yourself again?"   
  
She looked up into my eyes then. "I _am_ myself. I haven't lost myself to Melanie. I would feel the same as I do now, even as a Bear or a Flower," she said, a fierceness in her voice I had never heard there before.   
  
"They wouldn't discard you?" I asked, using her term.   
  
"Not a soul. We have no capital punishment for our kind. Or any punishment, really. Whatever they did, it would be to save me. I used to think there was no need for any other way, but now I have myself as proof against that theory. It would probably be right to discard me. I'm a traitor, aren't I?"   
  
She looked sad. She didn't like thinking she had betrayed her kind. I racked my brain, trying to think of a way to comfort her. A way to make being here with us less depressing to her. She had enough to deal with without having to feel like a traitor.   
  
"More of an expatriate, I'd say. You haven't turned on them; you've just left their society," I said after a few seconds.   
  
She didn't say anything and we sat in silence for a couple of minutes.   
  
I stared at the wound on her face. It was horrible. Big and red; she would have a nasty scar there. It must have hurt, but she didn't complain. I sighed and she jumped a little. It made me feel bad that she frightened so easily.   
  
_Of course she frightens easily. She's surrounded by a bunch of violent aliens that keep trying to kill her_ , I thought.   
  
"When Doc sobers up, we'll get him to take a look at your face," I said, reaching out to touch her chin. She didn't flinch this time, allowing me to turn her head so I could get a good look at the gash on her cheek.   
  
"It's not important. I'm sure it looks worse than it is," she said.   
  
"I hope so―it looks awful." I dropped my hand from her chin and stretched. "I suppose we've hidden long enough that Kyle's clean and unconscious. Want some help with the dishes?"   
  
She smiled weakly and got to her feet.   
  
I carried the dishes down to the river room. When she tried to wash them in the stream, I insisted we go into the bathing room. She would be invisible in the black room and I needed to get cleaned up anyway.   
  
Wanda washed the dishes, while I scrubbed the brown dirt out of my clothes and hair. I could hear her there, in the shallow end of the pool, scrubbing the plates. I was more relaxed than I had been all day, listening to the plates clang against one another as she stacked them in the darkness.   
  
She was safe, for the moment, at least. And I would do whatever it took to keep her that way.   
  
As I was cleaning myself up, what Kyle had said to me the night before popped into my head. He thought I... that I was... _attracted_ to Wanda. What would make him think that?   
  
Sure, she was pretty, but that was Melanie's body. Wanda was a... worm, stuck in her head.   
  
_Clink_. I heard her stack another dish in the crate.   
  
She wasn't human. But did that matter, really? She was sweet and kind. She was better than some of the humans here. Jared and Kyle and Maggie and Sharon and everyone else who mistreated her. She was better than _me_. I'd tried to kill her. I had strangled her, while she clawed at my hands. Begging for me to stop, while I suffocated her.   
  
I didn't care what she was. She was a good person, human or alien. She was different than the other souls. She was compassionate. Why couldn't Jared and Kyle see that? Why couldn't they see what I saw?   
  
But what _were_ they seeing? What did Kyle see that made him think I liked her? She was my friend. I felt protective of her, responsible for her. I didn't want anything to happen to her. That didn't mean I had some ulterior motive for helping her. But what did it mean?   
  
Today was nice, just me and her, talking. That was the most we'd ever really said to one another. And I liked being around her, I guess. Did I have feelings for Wanda?   
  
As I scrubbed my shirt for the hundredth time, I realized I was taking too long, so I quickly finished up and started helping Wanda with the dishes.   
  
When we were finished, we took the dishes back to the kitchen, which was beginning to fill up. We were having bologna and cheese sandwiches for lunch. Jamie was sitting there waiting for us, two stacks of sandwiches sitting next to him. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had a stubborn look in his eye as he stared at Wanda. I wondered what it was about, but from the way Wanda rolled her eyes at him I figured it was between them.   
  
I quickly got my own lunch and went back to join them. None of us spoke, instead we just ate until we couldn't eat anymore. Well, I did, at least. It was funny, I used to hate bologna, but right now it was the best sandwich I had ever had in my entire life. I hadn't eaten since dinner last night and I hadn't slept in over twenty-four hours. I was exhausted.   
  
"Get back to school, kid," I said to Jamie when he was finished eating.   
  
He eyed me warily. "Maybe I should take over.…"   
  
"Go to school," Wanda told him.   
  
"I'll see you later, okay? Don't worry about… about anything," he said to her.   
  
"Sure." She still didn't believe she would be okay, I could hear the lie in her voice.   
  
Once Jamie was gone, she turned to me. "Go get some rest. I'll be fine―I'll stay someplace inconspicuous. Middle of a cornfield or something."   
  
I wasn't letting her get away from me again like she did last night. "Where did you sleep last night?" I asked her.   
  
"Why?"   
  
"I can sleep there now, and you can be inconspicuous beside me."   
  
"You can't watch me every second," she whispered.   
  
"Wanna bet?"   
  
That's exactly what I would do. Watch her every second, until I was sure she was safe.   
  
She shrugged, then answered my question. "I was back at the… the hole. Where I was kept in the beginning."   
  
I frowned. The poor thing had crept into that black storage hole to sleep. She let them treat her like an animal. She didn't see how wrong it was.   
  
I wanted to take her back to my room. Tell her she could have it. Give her a real room to stay in, one that was her own, that she couldn't be kicked out of. But it was Kyle's room, too, and I didn't think me giving away our room to an alien would go over so well. So, instead, I got up and led her down the dark passageway to the storage area.   
  
Once we were alone she spoke up.   
  
"Ian, what's the point of this? Won't it hurt Jamie more, the longer I'm alive? In the end, wouldn't it be better for him if ―"   
  
I stopped her. "Don't think like that, Wanda. We're not animals. Your death is not an inevitability."   
  
How could anyone want to hurt this innocent creature? She amazed me. Instead of trying to escape and keep herself alive, like any normal person would have done, she was trying to make it easier on Jamie. She loved him that much. She'd die for him, a human that she'd just met two months ago. She'd let them kill her now, if it would be easier on the kid.   
  
"I don't think you're an animal," she whispered.   
  
"Thanks," I said. "I didn't say that as an accusation, though. I wouldn't blame you if you did."   
  
She didn't answer. Both of us were preoccupied by the faint blue glow coming from up around the bend. Someone was waiting for us. Probably Jared. He'd known where to find her last night.   
  
"Shh," I said quietly. "Wait here."   
  
I pressed on her shoulder gently, trying to emphasize the _here_ part, then walked forward. I tried to be loud as I walked. Maybe he'd think it was just me.   
  
"Jared?" I asked, trying to sound surprised to see him there, as I turned the corner.   
  
"I know it's with you," he told me. Then, looking past me into the darkness, he called out to Wanda. "Come out, come out, wherever you are."


	9. Warnings

I ground my teeth as I heard Wanda step around the corner behind me. I was ready for a fight should one occur, but Jared looked just as exhausted as _I_ felt. He'd probably been awake twice as long as me. But if he did try anything, I was ready.

"At ease," Jared said to me. "I just want to talk to it. I promised the kid, and I'll stand by that promise."

"Where's Kyle?" Maybe he had promised he wouldn't hurt her, but did he promise he wouldn't find someone else who would.

"Snoring. Your cave might shake apart from the vibrations."

I didn't move and that seemed to annoy him a little.

"I'm not lying, Ian," he said, frustrated. "And I'm not going to kill it. Jeb is right. No matter how messed up this stupid situation is, Jamie has as much say as I do, and he's been totally suckered, so I doubt he'll be giving me the go-ahead anytime soon."

"No one's been suckered," I growled at him.

"It's not in any danger from me, is my point," he said, waving his hand, ending the fight before it got started. Then he looked at Wanda. "I won't hurt you again."

I heard Wanda take a step forward and spun around on my heel to face her. "You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, Wanda. This isn't a duty or a chore to be done. It's not mandatory. You have a choice."

"No. I'll talk to him," she whispered.

I didn't like that. _I_ didn't want her anywhere near _him_. Protecting her would be so much easier if she wasn't being so stubborn about it.

RShe moved toward Jared slowly, pausing after every step. I moved with her, keeping tight to her side, pausing when she did.

"I'd like to talk to it alone, if you don't mind," Jared said, looking at me.

"I do mind." I took another step, firmly planting my feet on the ground.

"No, Ian, it's okay," Wanda whispered, nudging me gently with her elbow. "Go get some sleep. I'll be fine."

I stared at her for a while. Was she crazy? The last time she had seen him he was cutting up her face! How could she stand to be near him? I didn't want her anyway near him, but she wanted to talk to him. Why?

"This isn't some death wish? Sparing the kid?" I questioned.

"No. Jared wouldn't lie to Jamie about this."

Maybe she was right. Maybe he'd give her a chance. If he talked to her, got to know her, maybe...

"Please, Ian. I want to talk to him."

Her eyes were pleading with me, asking me to leave her with this man who had hurt her. I wanted to give her this, this small request. She had never asked me for anything before—I don't think she'd asked _anyone_ for anything before—but how could I leave her? If he hurt her... I'd... I'd... _kill_ _him_. I would kill him if he hurt her.

I turned to look at Jared then. Well, glare, actually. I needed him to understand how serious I was. "Her name is _Wanda_ , not _it_. You will not touch her. Any mark you leave on her, I will double on your worthless hide," I barked.

With that, I stomped off down the tunnel. I was angry. Why did Wanda have to be so damn selfless? Why couldn't she run and hide like a normal person would? I was pretty sure even a normal soul would have turned tail and run from a beating, but Wanda didn't.

I was back in the bright plaza now and looked around. There were people gardening and others just milling around, but the only one I cared about at the moment was behind me in that dark hole in the ground.

How could I leave her like that? It was what she wanted, yes, but did she really know what was best for herself? Just as I was about to run back and save her from Jared, a hand touched my shoulder.

"Hey, Ian." Jamie smiled. His smile faded when he saw my face. "What's wrong? Where's Wanda?"

I shook my head. "She's with Jared. They're _talking_. Why aren't you in school?"

His eyes flickered to the tunnel behind me and he pursed his lips. "He won't do anything. He promised."

I sighed, and patted the kid on the shoulder. "Get to school, Jamie."

" _I_ _am_. _I_ _am_. I was just going to the restroom," he complained.

I was exhausted and the adrenaline rush I had had finding Jared in the storage cave had left me completely drained. I slowly but surely made my way down the hall to the living quarters.

When I got there, I could here Kyle snoring. He wouldn't be doing anything to Wanda tonight. But I was still worried about Jared. Maybe I could take a short nap while waiting for them to finish talking. _Yeah_ , _that's_ _it_ , _just_ _a_ _few_ _minutes_ _and_ _then_ _I'll_ _go_ _down_ _and_ _make_ _sure_ _Wanda's_ _okay_ , I thought briefly, before drifting into a deep sleep.

I don't know how long I had been asleep, but it wasn't nearly long enough, when I heard a voice say, "Now?"

"Yup. Have your lazy rear in the game room in five minutes. And bring your brother." That was Jeb.

Wanda, I thought. What time was it? I had to make sure Wanda was alright. How long had I been sleeping?

A quick glance up at the cracks in the ceiling answered my questions. It was after dark. I had slept all afternoon...

I looked to the doorway where Kyle had been talking to Jeb. Now he was putting the red door back in place. He turned back to look at me once the door was back in it's spot covering the entrance to our room.

I glared at him, still annoyed that he couldn't just believe in my judgement.

"What happened to you, Ian?" Kyle asked. He sounded tired. He was probably just as tired as I was, if not more.

"Nothing happened to me, Kyle. I just realized that it wouldn't be right to kill her. She never did anything wrong."

"Just her being here is wrong. Being on this planet is wrong. It's ours, not theirs!" he shouted.

"Kyle, she had nothing to do with them taking our planet from us. She was on another planet at the time. She just got here. You can't blame her for something..." I said, getting up off my mattress.

"That's right, Ian. She was on _another_ planet. Stealing it from whatever species lived there. She's a parasite, Ian. It's just what she is."

"Kyle, you don't know the first thing about her. She would never hurt anyone. She's a good person. She's _too_ good a person. She'd do anything to please those around her," I shouted back. If he wanted a shouting match he was going to get a shouting match.

"Guess that's why you like her." He was smiling. I wanted to smack the expression right off his face.

"Oh, grow up, Kyle. It's not like that."

"So, then, what _is_ it like? What did she say to you to make you believe her?" he asked. His voice was serious; he really wanted to know.

"Nothing. She doesn't talk about herself a whole lot," I told him, and then, smiling to myself, I added, "Except of course when we're bombarding her with questions about the rest of the universe."

Kyle made a sound like gagging and I looked up at him. Despite his attitude, Kyle seemed genuinely interested in what had happened while he was away. If I could convince Kyle that Wanda wasn't some scary alien, that she was good, maybe she'd actually have a chance.

"She's...not what you would expect. She is good. Better than most of us, I'd say. Better than me. She's been here for almost two months now and she hasn't tried to escape. And she could've, you know. She's had many opportunities. She slept in the storage area last night! Do you honestly think that she couldn't have found her way out if she had been trying?"

"Maybe," he said. "Or maybe it's just planning something bigger."

I rolled my eyes at him. He was just looking for an excuse to hate her now. He knew how easily she could have escaped if she had wanted to. I could see him searching his mind for the answer. Looking for some diabolical plan that she had cooked up, a plan the rest of us had somehow been blind to, everyone except Kyle, who was determined to figure it out.

"Kyle, I understand you're nervous about her, but you don't have to be," I said soothingly, trying to quell his fears.

Out of nowhere Kyle pushed me. I fell back, tripping over my mattress and hitting the wall. Oh, if he wanted a fight, he was going to get a fight. I was tired, but not enough to pass up an opportunity to pound on my ignorant brother.

I tackled him onto his mattress and we wrestled around for a few minutes. That was, until Jeb came back. One cock of the rifle and our fight was over. We both got to our feet and followed him silently to the game room, while he yelled at us for being late.

When we got to the game room, I could see Jared standing there, waiting. I glared at him and I knew he saw it. If I found even one hair out of place on Wanda's head, I'd...

Jeb cleared his throat and then got started. "Y'all know why we're here, so I'll get right to it. You boys aren't gonna be causing any trouble for our friend Wanda, are you?"

I looked at Jared, who was shaking his head. Then I looked at Kyle. He had his jaw clenched tightly and was glaring at Jeb. I sighed, frustrated by my brother's stubbornness.

"Kyle, Wanda's a part of our community, now. You're just gonna have to accept that," Jeb stated smoothly.

"Jeb, it's not one of us! It's dangerous!" he started to scream.

"You know, I hate to do this, Kyle... But if you can't live here, peacefully, with Wanda, then I have no choice but to ask you to leave," Jeb said grimly.

It had the effect Jeb was going for, Kyle froze. He looked incredulously at me, as if he needed confirmation of Jeb's words.

I know I should have tried to control the smile that was plastered on my face. Should've tried to keep my expression blank, if only to help ease Kyle into this new revelation of his. I could see the realization that I cared about Wanda more than I did my own brother hit him, but it wasn't true. I did care about Kyle, very much. It was just that I knew he wouldn't choose to leave over something so stupid. He wouldn't leave his family, his _home_ , over some stupid grudge.

He stared at me for a moment or two and took a few deep breaths before looking at Jeb.

"I'll stay," he said quietly. I knew he would. He looked unhappy about it, but he wasn't going to leave, and he'd get used to Wanda. He'd see.

"Good, then. I reckon we won't be having any more problems." Jeb grinned, shaking the barrel of the gun in Kyle's direction.

"Alright, I guess we're done here. You know, I think Wanda's down in the kitchen, teaching her class, if ya want to go listen. It's very interesting stuff," he added, looking at Kyle and Jared in turn.

They both shook their heads and quietly left the game room.

"I really hated doing that," Jeb sighed, as soon as their footsteps faded down the eastern tunnel.

"Yeah, but it's what he needed to hear. He'll get over it, eventually. We just have to watch out for her until he does," I said, patting his shoulder as I walked passed.

I decided to stop by the kitchen and check up on Wanda. She was standing in front of the oven talking about the Dolphins. I stayed in entrance of the kitchen and just watched her for a minute, smiling to myself. She was okay. Besides the huge wound on her cheek, there was nothing wrong with her. Jared didn't injure her after I had left.

When I was content that she was alright, I made my way back to my room and fell asleep, too relieved that Wanda was alive to pay much attention to Kyle's glares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I totally suck, but I'm gonna try to give myself a schedule and stick to it. I will try to update this fic every Friday, so hold me to it.


	10. Delusional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank Laurel for taking the time to help edit this chapter. It's much appreciated!

The next day, everything went back to normal. Or as normal as it was going to get. Kyle stalked through the halls, glowering every time he saw Wanda. There was nothing I could do about it, he'd get over it in time, but I hated the look on _her_ face every time she saw him. It was a mixture of fear and guilt. She shouldn't feel guilty for being here, for being alive.   
  
That night after dinner, I went to her class. I sat on the counter next to the stove where she was baking bread. Geoffrey was asking her about the Soul s’ medicines.   
  
Walter was sick. He had cancer, and it was _very_ bad according to Doc. He wouldn't last much longer. Everyone in the caves was upset, except Wanda, because Jamie and I  had decided she didn't need to know about it right now. She had enough on her plate as it was.   
  
But she was a Soul and everyone knew that the Soul s had ways to cure diseases. When they had taken over they cured most diseases, if not all of them. I had never heard of one of them getting sick. So now, Geoffrey was questioning Wanda. Only problem was, Wanda didn't know anything about it. She hadn't learned about _Healing_. When Geoffrey realized she couldn't help heal Walter, he hung his head. He wasn't mad at Wanda, but from the look on his face _she_ would think he was.   
  
No one said anything, the room was completely silent. Most of the people there had angry looks on their faces, some even staring at Wanda. It wasn't Wanda's fault that Walter was sick. They shouldn't be angry because she couldn't just snap her fingers and cure cancer. We never figured out how to cure cancer and even though the Souls knew  didn't mean Wanda should. _That would be like asking Kyle to quote Shakespeare_ , I thought. Not everyone knows everything.   
  
"Uh―about the Vultures…" I said, trying to think of someway to change the subject. I could tell Wanda was already trying to figure out what she had done to offend everyone. "I don't know if I missed this part sometime, but I don't remember you ever explaining about them being 'unkind'… ?"   
  
So she explained. Jamie and I kept asking questions until Jeb sent us all to bed. He said it was late and we had an early day ahead of us.   
  
"What did I say?" Wanda whispered to me once the room was almost empty.   
  
"Nothing. They've got mortality on their minds." I sighed.   
  
"Where's Walter?" she demanded.   
  
I sighed again. She was quick putting it together. "He's in the south wing. He's… not doing well."   
  
"Why didn't anyone tell me?"   
  
"Things have been… difficult for you lately, so…"   
  
She shook her head, annoyed that I hadn't told her. "What's wrong with him?"   
  
Jamie walked over and took her hand. "Some of Walter's bones snapped, they're so brittle," he whispered. "Doc's sure it's cancer―final stages, he says."   
  
"Walt must have been keeping quiet about the pain for a long while now," I said quietly.   
  
She flinched at that. "And there's nothing to be done? Nothing at all?"   
  
I shook my head. "Not for us. Even if we weren't stuck here, there would be no help for him now. We never cured that one."   
  
She bit down on her lip and shifted her gaze to the floor. I could tell she was thinking about something―maybe she was trying to remember something she had forgotten about Healing. She looked so sad, so... grieved that Walter, a human, was dying.   
  
"He's been asking for you," I said. "Well, he says your name sometimes; it's hard to tell what he means―Doc's keeping him drunk to help with the pain."   
  
"Doc feels real bad about using so much of the alcohol himself. Bad timing, all around," Jamie muttered.   
  
"Can I see him?" Wanda asked. "Or will that make the others unhappy?"   
  
I frowned. "Wouldn't that be just like some people, to get worked up over this? Who cares, though, right? If it's Walt's final wish…"   
  
"Right," she said softly. She looked on the verge of tears. "If seeing me is what Walter wants, then I guess it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or if they get mad."   
  
"Don't worry about that―I'm not going to let anybody harass you," I assured her, my voice tight.   
  
"Is it too late to go tonight? Will we disturb him?"   
  
"He's not sleeping regular hours. We can go see."   
  
Before I even had time to turn around she had dragged Jamie halfway down the hall. I chased after them and we all walked into the main plaza together. There were a few people gathered around talking or just passing through. They barely even looked over at the three of us making our way to the southern tunnel. Then I saw Kyle.   
  
He was talking to Brandt and some of the others. But when he saw us, when he saw Wanda and Jamie holding hands, I thought he might run over and start a fight right here, regardless of what Jeb had told him.   
  
And maybe I shouldn't have done it, maybe I should have just growled right back at Kyle and left it at that, but I couldn't. He needed to understand that people here cared about Wanda and that we weren't going to let him hurt her.   
  
I reached down and took Wanda's hand in mine. Kyle made a sound like gagging and then turned away as we entered the southern tunnel.   
  
Wanda tried to pull her hand away from me once we were safely in the dark corridor, but I just held her tighter.   
  
"I wish you wouldn't make him angrier," she murmured.   
  
She thought I was only holding her hand to make Kyle mad, but that wasn't the reason. I took her hand to show her and Kyle that she was considered a friend here, someone we all cared about. But her hand was so soft and warm, it felt nice. I started to think about those things Kyle had said again. About me feeling something other than just friendship for Wanda.   
  
"Kyle is wrong," I said, trying to distract myself from the warm tingling feeling in the hand that held Wanda's. "Being wrong is sort of a habit with him. He'll take longer than anyone else to get over it, but that doesn't mean we should make allowances for him."   
  
He would get over it, but in the meantime I wasn't going to act differently around Wanda or stay away just to protect my brother's feelings.   
  
"He frightens me," she whispered. "I don't want him to have more reasons to hate me."   
  
I squeezed her hand and felt completely ashamed of my brother. She was afraid of him. I mean, I knew that she was, but this was the first time she had ever admitted to being afraid of anything. She had walked around the caves with me when she thought I was planning on killing her and she ’d  never once said she was afraid. I felt horrible that it was Kyle that she was so scared of, that it was _my_ family. It made me feel responsible.   
  
"Jeb's made his opinion very clear," I said at the same time Jamie said, "Don't be afraid."   
  
"What do you mean?" she asked, looking up at me even though it was too dark for her to see my face clearly.   
  
"If Kyle can't accept Jeb's rules, then he's no longer welcome here."   
  
"But that's wrong. Kyle belongs here," she cried.   
  
"He's staying… so he'll just have to learn to deal," I told her.   
  
None of us spoke for the rest of the walk. When we finally reached the glowing blue light of the hospital, Wanda seemed to tense a little. She didn't like this place . E ven if she wasn't scared of Doc, the hospital would always scare her.   
  
Doc was asleep on one of the cots and Walter was on another. He was awake, but probably still drunk.   
  
When he looked toward me I asked, "Are you up for visitors, Walt?"   
  
"Ungh," he moaned.   
  
"Is there anything you need?" Wanda asked, pulling her hands free from both me and Jamie.   
  
My hand felt empty without hers wrapped in it. I had an urge to reach out and grab her again, but she stepped forward to stand closer to Walter.   
  
"Is there anything we can do for you? Anything at all?" she asked him again.   
  
His eyes were rolling around in his head, but the second they crossed her face they focused.   
  
"Finally," Walter gasped, sucking in a wheezing breath. "I knew you would come if I waited long enough. Oh, Gladys, I have so much to tell you."   
  
Wanda froze and then looked behind her like she was expecting to see someone standing there.   
  
"Gladys was his wife. She didn't escape," Jamie explained when Wanda caught his eye. She was still confused, only now she looked like she was about to panic.   
  
"Gladys," Walter mumbled. "Would you believe I went and got cancer? What are the odds, eh? Never took a sick day in my life…"   
  
Wanda was standing between me and Walter's cot looking like she was about to turn and run. I gave her a gentle push forward.   
  
"What should I do?" she asked, her voice shaky and low, desperate.   
  
". . . grandfather lived to be a hundred and one. Nobody ever had cancer in my family, not even the cousins." Walter rattled on, barely audible. "Didn't your aunt Regan have skin cancer, though?"   
  
I gave her another gentle poke in the back.   
  
"Um..." she said, unsure of what to do.   
  
"Maybe that was Bill's aunt," Walter answered himself.   
  
Wanda looked back at me, asking me, pleading with me for an answer. She even mouthed, " Help ," so I motioned for her to take Walter's hand. Once she was holding his frail hand in her soft , tan one, he began to mumble again.   
  
"Ah, Gladdie, it's been hard without you. It's a nice place here; you'll like it, even when I'm gone. Plenty of people to talk to―I know how you need to have your conversation.…"   
  
There was a wet rag lying on the cot next to Walter. I walked over and began gently wiping it over his forehead.   
  
"I'm not good at… at deception," she whispered. She never took her eyes off of Walter. "I don't want to upset him."   
  
Well, obviously she wasn't any good at deception. I doubt ed she could lie to save her own life.   
  
"You don't have to say anything," I told her. "He's not lucid enough to care."   
  
And it was the truth. Walter's eyes were rolling around in his head and, even though he spoke, it was just old memories. He was speaking to ghosts, not to Wanda. He wasn't even really aware that _Wanda_ was in the room.   
  
"Do I look like her?" she asked.   
  
"Not a bit―I've seen her picture. Stocky redhead." I couldn't help but smile at her. She looked absolutely nothing like Walter's wife and still for some reason he was seeing her as his Gladys.   
  
She was still slightly panicky, but much better than before. As always , though, she had to busy herself with something.   
  
"Here, let me do that," she said, taking the wet rag from my hands. She started to wipe Walter's sweat - stained face.   
  
"Thanks, Gladdie, that's nice," Walter thanked her.   
  
Doc came up behind me , then. We must have woken him up, Doc always was a light sleeper. "How is he?" he asked.   
  
"Delusional," I whispered. "Is that the brandy or the pain?"   
  
"More the pain, I would think. I'd trade my right arm for some morphine."   
  
"Maybe Jared will produce another miracle."   
  
"Maybe," Doc muttered. He was really taking this hard. He felt guilty about using up the brandy, yes, but I think he also felt guilty about not being able to cure Walter. To fix him. Doc felt guilty that Walt was going to die, but it wasn't his fault. Like I ’d told Wanda, even if we weren't stuck here, there just wasn't anything to be done for him.   
  
To get his mind off of it, I told him about some things that had been going on around the caves while he was... incapacitated.   
  
"What happened to Wanda's face?" Doc whispered, trying to keep Wanda from hearing.   
  
"More of the same," I managed to get out through the rage that was building inside me. I had almost forgotten about that. Well, maybe not forgotten, but when he asked about it I couldn't help but be reminded of how angry I was.   
  
I glanced over my shoulder at Wanda . S he was holding Walter's hand and wiping the beads of moisture off of his pale, pain-contorted face. How could anyone think that she was dangerous? How could anyone want to harm her?   
  
Doc made an angry―well, for him anyway―groan.   
  
"Geoffrey was asking about the Soul medicines during her class tonight," I told him. I needed to talk about something else and this seemed like a topic he might be interested in. "They all got a little upset when Wanda told them she had never learned about Healing."   
  
"It would have been convenient if Melanie had been possessed by a Healer," Doc said. He had a far off look in his eyes, like he was _imagining_ what he could've learned if Melanie had been implanted with a Healer.   
  
"We're lucky it was Wanda. No one else ―"   
  
"I know," Doc interrupted. "I guess I should say, it's too bad Wanda didn't have more of an interest in medicine."   
  
"I'm sorry," Wanda apologized. Her voice was quiet, almost like she was ashamed that she wasn't what Doc wanted.   
  
I hated when she did that to herself, when she would make herself feel guilty about something that she had absolutely no control over. Wanda was _Wanda,_ and that was good enough. She should know that no one expected anything more from her. None of this was her fault.   
  
I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder. "You have nothing to apologize for."   
  
Wanda didn't say anything, but she did look around the room. When I followed her gaze, I noticed Jamie, sound asleep on the cot Doc had been lying on. Walter had also fallen asleep.   
  
"It's late," Doc said. "Walter's not going anywhere tonight. You should get some sleep."   
  
"We'll be back," I uttered. "Let us know what we can bring, for either of you."   
  
Wanda put Walter's hand back down on the cot, patting it gently. As she did, Walter's eyes opened abruptly.   
  
"Are you leaving?" he breathed. "Do you have to go so soon?"   
  
"No, I don't have to leave," Wanda said, wrapping her hand around his again. This calmed him down and he closed his eyes.   
  
I sighed, already knowing what she was going to say.   
  
"You can go," Wanda told me. "I don't mind. Take Jamie back to his bed."   
  
"Hold on a sec," I said, walking over to the closest empty cot and bringing it back for Wanda. I placed it next to Walter's; Wanda had to stretch her arm so I could put the cot in its place while she kept her grip on Walter at the same time. Then I put one arm under her shoulders, while the other scooped up her legs and I lifted her onto the cot. She gasped quietly.   
  
"Do you think you can sleep like that?" I asked, motioning with my head toward Walter's hand locked around hers.   
  
"Yes, I'm sure I can," she assured me.   
  
I smiled at her. "Sleep well, then."   
  
Then I turned and picked Jamie up off of his cot. "Let's go, kid," I said to the sleeping boy as I carried him from the hospital.   
  
When I got to his room the kid was still sleeping. I  was trying  to remove the green room divider that covered the doorway, but it was proving to be more difficult than I had originally thought , w hen a hand reached out and moved the screen out of my way . I turned to thank its owner , but instead of Trudy or Lily or someone, _anyone_ else, I turn ed around to see Kyle standing next to me―green screen in hand.   
  
A scowl just sort of broke out onto my face. I guess it was because of Wanda, because of everything she was doing for Walter, but somehow _his_ hatred of her turned into _my_ hatred of him. I could feel it sweep through me. I knew , if I really thought about it, I would probably realize I didn't _hate_ my brother, but  in that moment it sure felt that way.   
  
Kyle shook his head and laughed as I placed Jamie on the bed. "What are you doing?"   
  
"We were visiting Walter and the kid fell asleep," I explained, hoping he'd drop the subject.   
  
"So _she_ told you to take him to bed," he laughed again.   
  
"Shut up, Kyle," I whispered fiercely, afraid that if I raised my voice any louder I might wake Jamie. "I'm too tired to deal with you right now."   
  
Kyle just laughed and walked back to our room.   
  
Why did he have to be such an idiot? Why couldn't I have a reasonable, intelligent brother? No, instead I got a meathead who couldn't tell his right from his left. He'd never even be able to comprehend the difference between Wanda and a Seeker. He'd always see her as a threat.   
  
I hung out in Jared's room with Jamie for a while. The kid was out cold, but I had more than enough to think about to keep me busy.   
  
I sat there thinking about how Wanda was selfless enough to stay with Walter tonight, even though I knew how much she hated the hospital. I thought about how uncomfortable she must be, sleeping on that cot, if she was able to get any sleep at all. I  couldn’t  imagine falling asleep next to a dying old man  would be  easy. Hearing him moan in pain, holding his hand...   
  
...holding _her_ hand. Wanda's hand was so soft and warm. It was nice holding her hand. We had walked the entire way to the hospital like that. Yeah, sure, she tried to pull away, but that was only because she didn't want to upset Kyle. Once we were away from him she hadn't seemed hesitant.   
  
_What am I saying?_ I asked myself, shaking my head.   
  
I was all alone in the dark cave, just me and the dead-to-the-world Jamie.   
  
What was I doing? I knew I liked Wanda, sure, but as a friend, right? That was it, she was just my friend. I could be friends with a Soul, I could protect her from Kyle and Jared and anyone else who tried to touch her, but could I do anything more?   
  
I wasn't sure.   
  
Wanda was an amazing person, but did I like her because of what Kyle had said? Did he put this idea in my head and now I  was stuck with it? Or did I like Wanda because of who she was?   
  
_Definitely because of who she is_ , I told myself. I  didn’t even really have to think about that. It  had nothing to do with Kyle, my feelings for Wanda  were strictly because of Wanda.   
  
She really  was an amazing person. I mean, just take what she was doing for Walter. And she was so sweet. I bet she’d never said a bad word about anybody in her entire life, which  was  a really long time. And the way she always smell ed like baking bread. She never smell ed like dank, musty cave like the rest of us. She always smell ed good. And...   
  
_And, she's an alien, Ian_. That was Kyle's voice in my head, telling me that I  was being stupid, that it could never work. And he was right. I could never be with Wanda.   
  
First off, she _is_ an alien. And I’m human. Her kind hate us, they eradicated us from our own planet. Why should she feel any different?   
  
Second, she's inside of Jared's girlfriend's body. That presents a whole other set of issues to deal with. Jared would probably blow a gasket. Even if he wanted nothing to do with Wanda, he would still freak out if anyone else went near Melanie's body. And then there's Melanie. Wanda told me she's still in there with her. I could never do anything with Wanda if Melanie was still there. It would be unfair to her, disrespectful. It would be like forcing Melanie to be with me, even if Wanda wanted to.   
  
Which leads me to my third point. Why would Wanda want _me_? She could probably get any guy on this planet, hell, in the universe. She's beautiful, tall, athletic... _those legs_! But that wasn't what I found most attractive. Her eyes, they had a way of holding my gaze every time I looked at her. It was like I got trapped in those lustrous, silver eyes.   
  
She was beautiful, body _and_ Soul. Why would she want to be with someone who had tried to kill her? She could do so much better than me...   
  
But she was stuck here, in these caves, with us. She couldn't leave, they wouldn't let her, so I guess it didn't really matter. _I'm just going to forget about all of this and just keep her safe_ , I thought.   
  
It was all I could do. The rest of it, it didn't matter. As long as she was safe, I was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Stephenie Meyer owns The Host and all of the lovely characters associated with it.
> 
> I'm slowly editing and moving this story over from FF, so if it looks familiar you might have read it before :)
> 
> Find me on tumblr as [spaztronautwriter](http://spaztronautwriter.tumblr.com)


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